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Ask the Oracle - October 15, 2012by Julia Bondi
I am going into my 2nd Saturn return. I was born January 12, 1956. November 15, 2011 I had a stroke followed by a heart attack 7 days later. I am trying to move to the UK where I lived 5 years ago. Do I get to go back or do I stay here to have surgery or is this the end of the road for me? DD
Actually your 2nd Saturn return is nearly 2 years in the future telling you that this illness is not meant to be the end of your life. A study of your 6th house of health, ruled by Mars, shows your natal Mars conjunct Saturn and square Pluto describing the seriousness of your stroke and heart attack. Last fall when you became ill, transiting Neptune was exactly opposite your natal Pluto and square your Mars/Saturn setting off this warning sign of your need to prioritize your health. I suspect your health challenges have both a Saturn cause which is genetic and a Mars/Pluto cause from lifestyle or diet choices which you will need to address. When we see both a natal pattern ruling the health house which you have and a serious transit or progression at the time of an acute illness which you have, then the illness must be treated. I would advise you to have the surgery as soon as you can, take the time to heal, and look at how you can live a healthier life through diet, exercise and emotional/spiritual healing. Your Mars/Saturn/Pluto in the fixed signs of Scorpio and Leo tell the story of your struggles, disappointments, and pain in this life which does require a serious focus on psychological healing in addition to medical treatment. A major move will be visible in the 9th house which in your chart contains your natal Uranus making the stimulation and freedom of another country appealing for you. I do think you can move back to the UK when transiting Jupiter moves into your 9th house of long distance moves in the fall of 2013 or early 2014 which would be much closer to the time of your 2nd Saturn return. In addition to this opportune Jupiter transit for your move, by then transiting Pluto will be conjunct your natal Moon which rules your 9th house describing the impact and importance of this move for you. This fall as transiting Saturn conjuncts your Ascendant beginning a new 30 cycle of maturation/initiation is the time to do what needs to be done for your wellbeing despite your desire to move now. Saturn calls us to face what is hard to face in order to build the foundation for our later success which can be the meaning of your 2nd Saturn return when you are able make a genuinely healthy move as you enter the 3rd and most satisfying stage of your life. Blessings on your healing journey.
My birthday is January 8, 1953. In the beginning of my life I discovered that my mother did not want me and spend the next 18 years showing me her feelings about me in a very unkind and abusive way. My greatest joy was spending time in nature and communing with Spirit. At 20 I married a man (8/29/50) who was incredibly charismatic but turned out to be as emotionally abusive as my mother. After 16 years and two amazing children I ended the marriage losing everything materially, then spent the next 12 years raising my children and studying many spiritual paths as I developed my own path to happiness. When I felt I was ready to start a healing practice a man (9/2/59) came into my life. I felt he was the ONE I had been waiting for. At first we were incredibly happy and then my world came apart when he began cheating with another woman. After 5 years we have started to come back together having gone from having our own home to living as a family. My question is this not the man or is this life just about suffering for me? Is there another path I need to take to be truly happy? I sincerely hope you have the opportunity to answer my question. TL
What I am sure about is that no one’s life is just about suffering though most lives do include suffering which is the reason there are innumerable books discussing the purpose of suffering in human lives. Certainly your chart reveals the struggle and suffering you experienced as a child – natal Moon conjunct Neptune/Saturn in the 4th house of home and family; natal Sun conjunct Chiron in the 6th house squaring your Moon/Saturn/Neptune opposing Uranus in the 12th house of Spirit and quincunxing Pluto in the 1st house of self awareness). It is understandable that your first marriage at the young age of 20 would mirror your abusive, lonely childhood as a reflection of the only world and relationship pattern you knew. Fortunately, you had the wisdom and courage to end that marriage, decide to raise your children, study spirituality and heal yourself. When you fell in love with your 2nd husband you must have been in your late 40’s expecting that your long path to wholeness would result in a happy, healthy marriage, however, it is just as important that your partner had chosen a similar path to self awareness. If you have looked at your partner’s chart, he has a powerful stellium in Virgo composed of his natal Sun/Moon/Venus/Mars/Pluto which is a demanding life to live. His Venus, the planet of love/relationships, was retrograde at birth indicating that he brought his own losses in love into your marriage. I suspect his struggle with his own inner life was the catalyst for his cheating not his feelings about you. No, that reality does not ease your pain but it does point to the need for your partner to take responsibility for his emotional history and your responsibility to forgive him if you can. You were born with your Venus/Mars, the relationship planets, in Pisces. Your Venus is exalted in the sign of Pisces asking you to endure human suffering, both your own and that of others, in order to find the embrace of your Soul as you did in childhood leading to your genuine human freedom and healing in this life which naturally heals others. Now, the question for you is can I embrace my partner’s Soul to find forgiveness, acceptance and a rekindling of love. Your Venus/Mars conjunction opposes his Virgo planets making it very clear that you do love him, enjoy his company and can be a loving, motivating force for healing in his life. As a Capricorn Sun you are called to be an initiate in life rising to a higher understanding in your life which you sought to do as a child seeking spiritual comfort, as a young wife choosing to end an abusive marriage, as a young mother dedicating yourself to raising your children, as a divorced woman taking time for your own development and finally as a woman willing to again risk love and loss entering a 2nd marriage. Now, the question is twofold – is your partner taking full responsibility for his own development and past behavior in order to become a true partner and are you able to trust love again despite the suffering you have experienced. Now that transiting Neptune has moved into Pisces where it is conjunct your natal Venus, this is the time to fully heal your emotional history with and through your partner if he is fully committed to this healing path.
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