We had a real estate agent visit our house this weekend and we saw our house through his eyes. Our 1930’s cottage is quirky in the extreme, and he was sensitive with us about it. Yet both of us replayed his comments for the next few days–from the assumptions that the kids painted the poetry on the stairs (mmm, no, that was me) to the remark that each room, unique in color and personality, looks like its in a different house. Buyers are looking for a unified theme, he said. The first thing we could do, to prepare for a sale, is to clear the clutter. Clutter? After twelve years of living it made sense, but honestly, it was a shock to our self-image.
One of the surprising things about life and aging is how much clutter we accumulate, in our psyches, our emotional bodies. Yet who even notices? How hard it is to see our self, objectively. We’re just rolling along, living our life until one honest day we get a look in the mirror and there it is. The extra weight around our midsection. The way our friendships bring more trouble and drama rather than support. The job that never quite pans out, and neither does the next, or the next.
The power of invisible gunk to clog the plumbing of our lives is a real thing, and after a four year long transit of Pluto to my Moon and ASC-DSC axis, I can say that it’s not always easy to pin down exactly where or when it happens. Over time, these things slowly become apart of our interiors, like the pile of magazines we forget to throw out. Until someone comes along and tells us: Hey, maybe it’s time to let some of that go.
Much of the gunk holding our energy down has to do with the energy we hold around relationship. I’m 43, the same age as my mother when she and my father divorced. Shortly after, she went into a life decline from which she never recovered. My Aries Moon wanted her to be the heroine we all needed, but Chiron, also conjunct my Moon, won out. She couldn’t rally. I remember my mother’s heaviness, the way she blamed others for her misfortunes. She wore dispiritedness like an old sack. I remember the air of stuck-ness surrounding her. Maybe it’s because I’m that age things went awry for her but I’m more aware of my own stuck places and limitations.
One way I’m clearing emotional clutter inside my self is by honestly seeing how I jump to conclusions. For instance, today I brought a gift to a neighbor for allowing me to use her parking space after winter storm damage rendered our street un-passable. I said, “Not everyone would do this for another, and I appreciate it,” and she replied, “Oh, I think people do at the level they can.” This gave me pause. She held up a mirror to a belief I’m holding that people generally aren’t generous, helpful. Gheesh, where did that come from? I could see how I judge others for not extending help or generosity, which also means I judge myself when I cannot or don’t help others. So I said a prayer, “I release any part of my self that is holding onto a perception of lack in others, and in myself. I release all judgment about how other people, or I, should be. There are no shoulds or judgments in Light. All is perfect.”
We surely accumulate battle scars from our relationships with others. It’s rarely about us. People project all the time. We feel blamed, misunderstood, wronged, and it really is about their stuff. Yet its other people -Libra- who bless us with honest reflections on our self. Even if there’s just a smidgen of hurt, they’re showing us something to release instead of hold onto.
Other people hold half of our puzzle pieces right now. They could pleasantly surprise us with their ability to see things in us that we can’t alone. And if we don’t like what we’re shown, and we may not, we can release what’s ready to be released, and offer love and compassion toward our self, because Pluto squares this Libra Moon; let’s clear emotional baggage keeping us from happiness. Venus in Pisces, retrograde, squares Saturn and conjoins Chiron, too, bringing in themes of maturity, aging, endings and sadness over who we’ve outgrown or lost. This Full Moon’s harsh angles highlight a need for gentleness. Libra is a sensitive creature, and you’ve never met a more delicate Venus than she in Pisces.
A light touch, forgiveness for our selves and others, are all we really need now. I remember my young teenaged self impatiently regarding my mother’s shortcomings. I had no idea what it meant to be divorced with two kids at age 43. I wasn’t wise enough yet to understand that life throws some heinous curve balls, and that some people don’t bounce back. That’s not a reflection on anyone’s character shortcomings, it’s a realistic understanding about life.
No one gets through life unscathed. We lose people, hair, youth. Many of us been unjustly, egregiously wronged in some way, and few get the apology that would help to heal. People can experience dark nights of the soul that last for a lifetime. And while we’re not looking, we can accumulate a small arsenal of hurts, grieves we’ve never allowed our self to grieve, people we can’t quite forgive.
Spring is the a time for clearing emotional clutter, for freeing what’s hardened over the winter. From addressing your negative thinking to wrong beliefs, from looking at how you take others’ issues personally to holding an unforgiving heart, what are you ready to let go of? Lightworker Doreen Virtue has said she’s worked hard to release resentments and grudges because when she did it opened up her ability to be a clear channel for others. That’s the spirit of Libra.
If you’d like a spring cleaning tool to help you let go of baggage toward others, or forgive yourself, here’s a simple release ritual I’ve used with great success.