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Aries Full Moon: The Sweet Spot

By April Elliott Kent

You know that movie, ‘An Unmarried Woman’? Well – I didn’t get it. I mean, I would’ve been Mrs. Alan Bates so fast that guy wouldn’t have known what hit him!”
~ Judy Benjamin, Private Benjamin

Great balls of fire. Don’t bother me anymore, and don’t call me sugar.”
~ Scarlett O’Hara, Gone with the Wind

In the 1980 film Private Benjamin, Goldie Hawn stars as Judy, a young woman who has been in a continuous string of relationships ever since she became old enough to distinguish boys from girls. On the night of her wedding to a high-powered divorce attorney, Judy unexpectedly becomes a widow. When she calls a late-night radio talk show for advice, her rambling monologue reveals that her life so far has trained her for nothing except being a daughter or a wife.

In search of direction, Judy is bamboozled, by an unscrupulous recruiter, into joining the army. What follows is the story of a pampered young woman – an exaggerated but recognizable characterization of Libra – who, in testing her physical and emotional limits, embraces her Aries warrior and finds out who she really is. When the commanding officer who promotes her to an elite team of paratroopers later makes a pass at her, she not only rebuffs him but even parlays his indiscretion into a plum assignment in Paris.

By the time she catches the eye of a dashing French gynecologist, Judy has become confident and self-possessed. But in short order, the seemingly perfect relationship proves to be yet another demeaning experience with a dominating male. Fortunately, this time Judy recognizes what she’s doing before it’s too late, calls off her wedding, and triumphantly marches away.

As Judy finally realized, attempting to purchase a (Libran) harmonious relationship at the expense of your (Aries) individuality is doomed to failure. It doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship, either; all kinds of important relationships can tempt us to become too accommodating. As this Full Moon in independent Aries stands in uneasy opposition to the Sun and Saturn in relationship-oriented Libra, ask yourself: Are you hiding your true self from your spouse, lover, best friend, or business partner – in an attempt to keep the peace? Then take the question one step further: If you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t know who you really are, are you actually in a relationship? Sometimes it feels safer and easier to hide your true self from others, because if you are rejected for who you really are, it hurts a lot worse. On the other hand, you might be rejected for your faux self anyway, left not only without a relationship — but also without a self.

If you’re an artist or a businessperson, you’ve probably encountered a similar dynamic in your work. It’s important to understand your market and to cater effectively to its needs. But what if meeting other people’s expectations and demands requires too big a sacrifice of your integrity, or your creative vision? And if you should find yourself in competition with a friend for business or recognition, at what point is it okay – even necessary – to take off the gloves for a good, clean fight? There’s a fine line between fulfilling expectations and selling out, between yielding to others and standing up for yourself – and everyone must decide for herself where that line begins and ends, and how staunchly it must be defended.

For most of us, especially women I think, it’s safer and easier to play to society’s Libran values of harmony and cooperation; to make nice, and to maintain relationships at all costs. But the Aries survival instinct is within each of us too, ready to rise up and help us pursue whatever we need and want, even if that means stepping on someone else’s toes. Even if it means we’re not always nice.

Your Inner Scarlett

In contrast to über-Libran Judy Benjamin, it’s helpful to meditate on the cautionary tale of Gone With the Wind‘s Scarlett O’Hara, one of the most driven and remorseless female characters in literature (and almost certainly an Aries). Scarlett’s upbringing is a lot like Judy’s – she was raised to be a perfect Southern lady, a pampered princess with perfect grooming and flawless manners whose only job is to make a good marriage. When the Civil War transforms Scarlett’s world and she is forced into hardship for the first time in her life, she triumphs over adversity with grit and an iron will, and we cheer her moxie.

But the harsh manner she adopts as a survival tactic during the war eventually becomes a habit, and Scarlett loses the goodwill of nearly everyone she knows. She has mastered only the charming façade of a Southern lady with none of the consideration for others that gives the stereotype its grace. Scarlett is determined to have exactly what she wants, no matter how many people disapprove or even suffer from her willfulness. Hers is a tale of Aries given too much latitude, without the softening influence of Libran give-and-take. It isn’t until the final pages of a very long book that Scarlett begins to grasp just a glimmer of what her willfulness has cost her.

The Aries/Libra Sweet Spot

Somewhere between Judy and Scarlett, then, is the sweet spot on the Aries/Libra polarity. It falls somewhere between the extremes of pleasing everyone and losing ourselves, and serving ourselves entirely while pleasing no one. This Full Moon in Aries pits the Moon conjoined independence-loving Uranus opposed the Sun in Libra, with all of them in a tight square to powerful Pluto. Pluto represents the sort of outside forces, be it a boot camp instructor of a Civil War, that break us down and force a transformation. Things are tough for many of us now, with strong, external Pluto pressures forcing us to assert ourselves and demand independence. Let’s see if we can get that done without burning every relational bridge we have.

At this Full Moon, consider the houses of your chart where 7.22 degrees of Libra and Aries fall (and take a look at the house with 6.59 Capricorn, too – here’s a blog post to help you), for clues to help you answer these questions: Where are you learning to draw the line between self and other, between “I” and “we”? Where are you the velvet glove, and where are you the iron fist? Where are you trying to find the sweet spot?

© April Elliott Kent
All rights reserved

Featured image from a painting by Claudia Fernety.
See more of her work at her website.

Filed under: Uncategorized

About April Elliott Kent

April Elliott Kent is the author of Astrological Transits (Fair Winds Press), The Essential Guide to Practical Astrology (Alpha/Penguin), and Star Guide to Weddings (Llewellyn). She has contributed articles to The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope magazines and Llewellyn's Moon Sign, Sun Sign, and Sabbat annuals. April is member of ISAR, NCGR, and OPA and is a past President of the San Diego Astrological Society. Her weekly Big Sky Astrology Podcast can be found on iTunes and wherever you listen to podcasts. Read more of April's articles at BigSkyAstrology.com

Comments

  1. Hilary Hellums says

    Sep 28, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    OMG! This message is me too. I’m nearing my 50th birthday this coming January and have made some realizations about my life and some decisions as to how I want to live the rest of it. I realized that I have made myself into what the men in my life want me to be. I have stopped doing things I enjoyed, or have grown my hair long because they wanted it that way. I have decided that this year of being 50 is going to be sort of an intermission between the first half of my life and the second half. During the intermission, I’m going to pay attention to me for a change. I really don’t know who I am any more but I’m going to find out. Then the second half will be lived on my terms. I will not change me for a relationship. Unless I want to change.

    Reply
    • April says

      Oct 2, 2012 at 8:46 am

      That’s a big realization, Hilary, and appropriate for a big milestone birthday! My best wishes and congratulations to you.

      Reply
  2. Natasje van Niekerk says

    Sep 28, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    This is so on par with where I am right now.

    Reply

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The Moon is in its
Last Quarter Phase

in the
Sign of Pisces


Today's Lunar Aspects:

  • Moon sextile Uranus, 7:54pm  May 23 2022
  • Moon conjunct Neptune, 12:41pm  May 24 2022

Venus is currently
The Morning Star

in the sign of Aries


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m  Conjunction:  Like peas in a pod, planets in conjunction tend to come from the same place. They act together, but it’s also hard to tell them apart. This aspect can increase talent, focus, and intensity (“two are better than one”). Or one planet can disappear as the other dominates. Their connection feels so natural, it’s easy to think everyone blends these planetary energies just as you do—but mostly, they don’t!.

p  Sextile:  Planets in sextile are compatible, though without any fireworks. This aspect doesn’t demand your attention. It quietly presents an opportunity. You can join these archetypal forces. Donna Cunningham has called this the “Oh, that!” aspect, because that’s generally what her clients say when she describes their benefits.  To get the most from sextiles you need to actively work them.

q  Square:  Squares are wild and wonderful—but difficult too. The power struggle between these planets was likely defined in your youth, when they were impossibly challenging. People are usually aware of their squares. They force the issues that make you to grow. And that’s their gift. They ensure you learn your lessons. When you rise to the occasion, they bless you with energy, action, and success.

r  Trine:  Michael Munkasey has dubbed this the “goddess aspect” because it’s so lovely. Identifying talents you may have perfected in a previous life, trines can bring you joy. There’s a nice flow of energy between planets in trine. They support and reinforce each another. But without any struggle, you might take them for granted—neither using nor developing their gifts. An unattended trine can sometimes trick you into negative behaviors.

t  Inconjunct/Quincunx:  Your quincunx planets are innately incompatible. Bringing them into harmonious expression requires constant adjustments. This can be stressful, also motivating. You’ve got to keep changing your process, opinions or attitude—which promotes highly creative solutions.

u  Opposition:  They say opposites attract—and planets in opposition are never far from each other, though they’re constantly bickering. You may be triggered into awareness of this aspect by other people who seem to resist or undermine you.  An opposition can make you feel uncertain, insecure, or discontent, until you can accept and see yourself in both energies. Typically people find it easier to identify with one side and project the other onto unsuspecting others in the outer world.

First House: Personality, physical body, beginnings. Includes the Ascendant and rules physical appearance, the image you project to others, your general outlook on life, how you start things; may describe your role in your family system, often guides your first impression of immediate environment.

Second House: Money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions, talents.

Third House: Communication, thoughts, language skills like writing and speaking, early schooling, siblings and neighbors, short trips, coming and going around town.

Fourth House: Your home, psychological foundations and roots, family, parents, domestic life, instinctive behavior, ancestry, your connection with the past, sense of security, domestic life, real estate. conditions at the end of life.

Fifth House: Children, creativity, romance; pleasure, entertainment, self-expression; all forms of “play”, speculation, gambling, and attitude towards taking risks; hobbies, attitude towards romance, lovers as opposed to partners, attitude towards having fun.

Sixth House: Work and job (as opposed to career), daily life, attitude towards service and coworkers, helpfulness, pets, attitude towards routine and organization, how you refine and perfect your skills.

Seventh House: Partnerships, one-to-one relationships, marriage, the first marriage, the “significant other”, business partnerships, competitors, open enemies, lawyers, mediators, counselors, contracts, negotiations, agreements. clients/the public.

Eighth House: Transformations and crisis, your ability to meet and rebound from crisis and change, sexuality; sex, death and rebirth, rituals and personal growth, your partner’s resources, addictions, psychology, other people’s money, taxes, divorce/alimony, inheritance.

Ninth House: Attitude toward expanding horizons, religious beliefs and personal philosophy, higher education, long-distance travel, morals, foreign languages and cultures, personal truths, publishing, commerce, advertising, your sense of adventure.

Tenth House: Career and profession, your contribution to society, social status, public reputation, material success, how you carve out a public identity for yourself; attitude toward authority figures, parents, caregivers, bosses, governments, attitude towards responsibility, desire for achievement.

Eleventh House: Friends, groups, organizations; hopes, wishes, aspirations, personal goals; your philanthropic attitude, concern for the collective, humanity; like tenth, can bring recognition and honors for fulfilling hopes and dreams.

Twelfth House: What’s hidden beneath the surface, karmic dustbin, limiting childhood/past-life messages, self-undoing, hidden enemies, hidden weaknesses, dreams, secret affairs, lost items, hospitals and prisons, hidden strengths, spiritual studies and soul growth.

A  Sun: Our vitality and magnetism; self-identity, ego.
Roles: The Self, the Hero, the Performer, the King.

B  Moon: Intuition, emotion, nurture.
Roles: The Mother, the High Priestess, the Child.

C  Mercury: Mind; physical dexterity and mental agility.
Roles: The Thinker, the Communicator, the Student, the Trickster, the Merchant, the Thief.

D  Venus: Our capacity for pleasure, receptivity, creativity, and social connection. Also indicates our relationships, self esteem, and financial abundance.
Roles: The Lover, the Seductress, the Artist.

E  Mars: Desire, initiative, anger.
Roles: The Protector, the Athlete, the Warrior.

F  Jupiter: Luck, opportunity, expansion, higher learning, religion.
Roles: The Scholar, the Gypsy, the Traveler, the Monk, the Professor.

G  Saturn: Hard work, commitment, focus, inadequacy, leadership, suffering, loss.
Roles: The Task Master, the Grim Reaper, the Wise Old Man, the Builder, the Cynic, the Boss.

H  Uranus: Change, breakthroughs, upsets, discoveries.
Roles: The Revolutionary, the Humanitarian, the Visionary, the Snob.

I  Neptune: Imagination, spirituality, idealism, addictions, deception, compassion.
Roles: The Artist, the Romantic, the Guru, the Addict, the Martyr, the Victim.

J  Pluto: Transformation, power, psychological dynamics, helplessness.
Roles: The Terrorist, the Detective, the Psychotherapist, the Dictator, shady people.

a  Aries: Pioneering, competitive, selfish, impatient, courageous, reckless, independent, dynamic, domineering, “Me first!”

b  Taurus: Patient, stable, lazy, dependable, practical, sensual, stubborn, artistic, possessive, greedy, gentle, loyal.

c  Gemini: Intelligent, curious, adaptable, quick-witted, restless, clever, scatterbrained, lacking follow-through.

d  Cancer: Nourishing, intuitive, protective, moody, sensitive, maternal, domestic, childish, cautious, creative.

e  Leo: Proud, dignified, vain, expressive, romantic, generous, childish, overbearing, self-assured, creative.

f  Virgo: Perfection-seeking, practical, methodical, petty, critical, studious, discriminating, cautious, never satisfied.

g  Libra: Charming, sociable, peace-loving, refined, diplomatic, artistic, indecisive, apathetic, easily deterred.

h  Scorpio: Passionate, secretive, penetrating, resourceful, suspicious, manipulative, jealous, sarcastic, intolerant, determined, aware.

i  Sagittarius: Freedom-loving, philosophical, optimistic, enthusiastic, careless, impatient, talkative, a know-it-all, broadminded, athletic, honest.

j  Capricorn: Serious, responsible, practical, hardworking, stubborn, brooding, inhibited, status-conscious, domineering, unforgiving.

k  Aquarius: Progressive, individualistic, unpredictable, cold, intellectual, artistic, eccentric, shy, impersonal, scientific.

l  Pisces: Compassionate, intuitive, ungrounded, romantic, impractical, self-sacrificing, seductive, musical, artistic.