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Cancer Full Moon: Mother Christmas

By April Elliott Kent

Growing up, I enjoyed Christmas as much as the next kid. I became ambivalent toward the holidays some time in my mid-20s, but it wasn’t until I got married that my indifference toward Christmas flared into genuine dislike. I found the unbridled materialism unpalatable (now that I was at an age when it no longer benefited me personally), the music irritating, and the moralistic undertones cloying. Craving an observance more peaceful, that felt more meaningful, I renounced the Christmas of my youth.

The first Christmas after I made my stand, my mother had a hard time believing I was serious. As mothers do, she wheedled, cajoled, and twisted my arm to join in the usual family reindeer games. I demurred, and she insisted, until finally one day, desperate to be understood and irritated beyond measure I finally snapped, “I don’t like the way you celebrate Christmas!” And watched, mortified, as her eyes filled with tears.

Now, my mother loved Christmas. She loved the tree, the music, the dopey Christmas specials on TV, the cookies, the wrapping, the craziness. She was an extraordinary gift-giver, paying close attention to the random comments of those she loved throughout the year and taking note of what they wanted and needed, and she gave precisely the things that would delight us most and suit us best. So when I made my nasty, hateful comment, I couldn’t have wounded my mother more had I slapped her across the face.

“Spirit!”‘ said Scrooge, “show me no more! Conduct me home. Why do you delight to torture me?’

I bungled it so badly, my wish to declare independence; and although my mother soon forgave me, I still haven’t quite forgiven myself. Yet I was motivated by natural impulses: I wished to celebrate the seasons in my own way, to carve out my own traditions. And as the youngest of four children I desperately wanted to be taken seriously as an adult.

Family Christmases tend to be difficult precisely because they amplify the natural tension between wanting to belong and to be taken care of (Cancer) and the desire to be taken seriously as the captain of your own ship (Capricorn). It’s tempting, when you’re first coming of age, to feel this is a zero sum game and that you can’t be your own person as long as you’re also someone’s child. And so you make foolish, hurtful mistakes, as I did, feeling the only alternative is a certain death of the self.

Ultimately I made my peace with mom, and she gracefully yielded to my desire to celebrate the holidays in quiet solitude with my husband and our cats. Left to my own devices, I didn’t throw away all of the Christmas traditions of childhood: we send Christmas cards, bake for neighbors and friends. Then on Christmas Day we relax, eat Chinese food, and watch a marathon of something mindless on TV.

There comes a moment during each holiday season when I reflect on the boisterous, colorful, exciting Christmases of my youth, of piles of presents under a big tree and throngs of loud, happy family members … and I wonder whether my modest version of Christmas doesn’t mark me a Scrooge. But in my heart, I know that all I really want of the Christmases I remember is to be a child again. I want my mother, who passed away eighteen years ago. I want to hide in a quiet room, secure in the knowledge that I can rejoin the noisy crowd in the living room anytime I feel like it. I want to belong to a big, noisy brood – but I don’t, not any more. And the truth is, even when I was part of that festive clan, I always felt a little bit apart, as though I had one foot out the front door, ready to make my escape.

Mostly, I’ve accepted my more solitary nature. This Christmas, though—let’s call it transiting Saturn opposing my natal Moon—I’ve felt the darkness of the season keenly. Scrooge’s ghosts have haunted me, and I’ve found myself wondering whether I have indulged myself too thoroughly in my independence. Who, I wondered, would care for my husband and me as we age? And if I were gone, would anyone miss me the way I miss my mother? Am I a joyless Scrooge, on a lonely path toward a pitiless end?

“Before I draw nearer to that stone to which you point,” said Scrooge, “answer me one question. Are these the shadows of the things that Will be, or are they shadows of things that May be, only?”

In the end, I got my wish – I’m a grownup now, and sometimes it’s a lonely, difficult path. But in this dark, Sun in Capricorn season, the Moon is a kindly ghost who rises up in the cold winter sky to show my mother’s face to me—the Full Moon face of Cancer’s caring and protection, its offer of nurturing and belonging. By all rights, that face’s smile should be cold. “Look at you,” my mother in the Moon might fairly say, “You didn’t like the way I kept Christmas, but your way seems pretty bleak. Happy now?”

But of course, as in life, her face in the Moon is kind and wise and always happy to see me. And it shines down on my little house and family and the irrepressible vestiges of her old Christmas traditions—the lights on the porch, the cards hanging like tinsel, the plates of cookies. And my mother in the Moon reassures me about the life I’ve chosen, and laughs at the idea that any daughter of hers could be as heartless as Scrooge. “Oh, it’s so beautiful here, honey,” she tells me, observing the glowing fire, the peacefully snoozing cats, the husband in stocking feet. “It’s quiet and peaceful, and it’s absolutely perfect for you.”

As usual, she’s right. And I realize that what I was looking for all along in carving out my own version of Christmas was not just Capricorn respect, but a Cancerian appreciation for the needs of my own heart. And that all my mother wanted was to give me what suited me best – I just needed to learn what that was, so I could ask for it.

Scrooge’s own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.

At this holiday season, may you have all of this and more, and everything your heart desires.

Excerpts from “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens. Full text available online at Literature.org.

Filed under: Home Full Moon Featured Article

About April Elliott Kent

April Elliott Kent is the author of Astrological Transits (Fair Winds Press), The Essential Guide to Practical Astrology (Alpha/Penguin), and Star Guide to Weddings (Llewellyn). She has contributed articles to The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope magazines and Llewellyn's Moon Sign, Sun Sign, and Sabbat annuals. April is member of ISAR, NCGR, and OPA and is a past President of the San Diego Astrological Society. Her weekly Big Sky Astrology Podcast can be found on iTunes and wherever you listen to podcasts. Read more of April's articles at BigSkyAstrology.com

Comments

  1. Faelind says

    Dec 27, 2015 at 7:25 pm

    This brought tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat. Beautifully put.

    Hope your holidays were/are wonderful and your New Year hopeful.

    Blessings,
    Faelind

    Reply
  2. Rafah says

    Dec 24, 2015 at 10:46 pm

    A very touching account, and beautiful, had me tearful as I picture and feel it all…thank you. Happy full moon.

    Reply
  3. ES says

    Dec 24, 2015 at 10:39 am

    Beautifully written with a deep authenticity.

    Reply

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The Moon is in its
Full Phase

in the
Sign of Scorpio


Today's Lunar Aspects (Greenwich Mean Time)
(subtract: PST -8 hours, PDT -7 hours, EST -5 hours, EDT -4 hours)

  • Moon opposite Uranus, 2:35am  May 13 2025
  • Moon trine Saturn, 6:37am  May 13 2025
  • Moon trine Neptune, 11:29am  May 13 2025
  • Moon sextile Pluto, 4:11pm  May 13 2025

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The Morning Star

in the sign of Aries


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Astrologers use a variety of house systems, or methods of dividing up the sky into twelve sections. I use the Porphyry house system; another popular house system is Placidus (this is the default on https://astro.com). If the chart I send you looks different from what you are used to seeing, then likely a system other than Porphyry was used. Whole signs, Equal House, Regiomantus, and Campanus are examples of other systems. If you find all of this confusing, do not worry. It is likely not critical to your report.

m  Conjunction:  Like peas in a pod, planets in conjunction tend to come from the same place. They act together, but it’s also hard to tell them apart. This aspect can increase talent, focus, and intensity (“two are better than one”). Or one planet can disappear as the other dominates. Their connection feels so natural, it’s easy to think everyone blends these planetary energies just as you do—but mostly, they don’t!.

p  Sextile:  Planets in sextile are compatible, though without any fireworks. This aspect doesn’t demand your attention. It quietly presents an opportunity. You can join these archetypal forces. Donna Cunningham has called this the “Oh, that!” aspect, because that’s generally what her clients say when she describes their benefits.  To get the most from sextiles you need to actively work them.

q  Square:  Squares are wild and wonderful—but difficult too. The power struggle between these planets was likely defined in your youth, when they were impossibly challenging. People are usually aware of their squares. They force the issues that make you to grow. And that’s their gift. They ensure you learn your lessons. When you rise to the occasion, they bless you with energy, action, and success.

r  Trine:  Michael Munkasey has dubbed this the “goddess aspect” because it’s so lovely. Identifying talents you may have perfected in a previous life, trines can bring you joy. There’s a nice flow of energy between planets in trine. They support and reinforce each another. But without any struggle, you might take them for granted—neither using nor developing their gifts. An unattended trine can sometimes trick you into negative behaviors.

t  Inconjunct/Quincunx:  Your quincunx planets are innately incompatible. Bringing them into harmonious expression requires constant adjustments. This can be stressful, also motivating. You’ve got to keep changing your process, opinions or attitude—which promotes highly creative solutions.

u  Opposition:  They say opposites attract—and planets in opposition are never far from each other, though they’re constantly bickering. You may be triggered into awareness of this aspect by other people who seem to resist or undermine you.  An opposition can make you feel uncertain, insecure, or discontent, until you can accept and see yourself in both energies. Typically people find it easier to identify with one side and project the other onto unsuspecting others in the outer world.

First House: Personality, physical body, beginnings. Includes the Ascendant and rules physical appearance, the image you project to others, your general outlook on life, how you start things; may describe your role in your family system, often guides your first impression of immediate environment.

Second House: Money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions, talents.

Third House: Communication, thoughts, language skills like writing and speaking, early schooling, siblings and neighbors, short trips, coming and going around town.

Fourth House: Your home, psychological foundations and roots, family, parents, domestic life, instinctive behavior, ancestry, your connection with the past, sense of security, domestic life, real estate. conditions at the end of life.

Fifth House: Children, creativity, romance; pleasure, entertainment, self-expression; all forms of “play”, speculation, gambling, and attitude towards taking risks; hobbies, attitude towards romance, lovers as opposed to partners, attitude towards having fun.

Sixth House: Work and job (as opposed to career), daily life, attitude towards service and coworkers, helpfulness, pets, attitude towards routine and organization, how you refine and perfect your skills.

Seventh House: Partnerships, one-to-one relationships, marriage, the first marriage, the “significant other”, business partnerships, competitors, open enemies, lawyers, mediators, counselors, contracts, negotiations, agreements. clients/the public.

Eighth House: Transformations and crisis, your ability to meet and rebound from crisis and change, sexuality; sex, death and rebirth, rituals and personal growth, your partner’s resources, addictions, psychology, other people’s money, taxes, divorce/alimony, inheritance.

Ninth House: Attitude toward expanding horizons, religious beliefs and personal philosophy, higher education, long-distance travel, morals, foreign languages and cultures, personal truths, publishing, commerce, advertising, your sense of adventure.

Tenth House: Career and profession, your contribution to society, social status, public reputation, material success, how you carve out a public identity for yourself; attitude toward authority figures, parents, caregivers, bosses, governments, attitude towards responsibility, desire for achievement.

Eleventh House: Friends, groups, organizations; hopes, wishes, aspirations, personal goals; your philanthropic attitude, concern for the collective, humanity; like tenth, can bring recognition and honors for fulfilling hopes and dreams.

Twelfth House: What’s hidden beneath the surface, karmic dustbin, limiting childhood/past-life messages, self-undoing, hidden enemies, hidden weaknesses, dreams, secret affairs, lost items, hospitals and prisons, hidden strengths, spiritual studies and soul growth.

A  Sun: Our vitality and magnetism; self-identity, ego.
Roles: The Self, the Hero, the Performer, the King.

B  Moon: Intuition, emotion, nurture.
Roles: The Mother, the High Priestess, the Child.

C  Mercury: Mind; physical dexterity and mental agility.
Roles: The Thinker, the Communicator, the Student, the Trickster, the Merchant, the Thief.

D  Venus: Our capacity for pleasure, receptivity, creativity, and social connection. Also indicates our relationships, self esteem, and financial abundance.
Roles: The Lover, the Seductress, the Artist.

E  Mars: Desire, initiative, anger.
Roles: The Protector, the Athlete, the Warrior.

F  Jupiter: Luck, opportunity, expansion, higher learning, religion.
Roles: The Scholar, the Gypsy, the Traveler, the Monk, the Professor.

G  Saturn: Hard work, commitment, focus, inadequacy, leadership, suffering, loss.
Roles: The Task Master, the Grim Reaper, the Wise Old Man, the Builder, the Cynic, the Boss.

H  Uranus: Change, breakthroughs, upsets, discoveries.
Roles: The Revolutionary, the Humanitarian, the Visionary, the Snob.

I  Neptune: Imagination, spirituality, idealism, addictions, deception, compassion.
Roles: The Artist, the Romantic, the Guru, the Addict, the Martyr, the Victim.

J  Pluto: Transformation, power, psychological dynamics, helplessness.
Roles: The Terrorist, the Detective, the Psychotherapist, the Dictator, shady people.

a  Aries: Pioneering, competitive, selfish, impatient, courageous, reckless, independent, dynamic, domineering, “Me first!”

b  Taurus: Patient, stable, lazy, dependable, practical, sensual, stubborn, artistic, possessive, greedy, gentle, loyal.

c  Gemini: Intelligent, curious, adaptable, quick-witted, restless, clever, scatterbrained, lacking follow-through.

d  Cancer: Nourishing, intuitive, protective, moody, sensitive, maternal, domestic, childish, cautious, creative.

e  Leo: Proud, dignified, vain, expressive, romantic, generous, childish, overbearing, self-assured, creative.

f  Virgo: Perfection-seeking, practical, methodical, petty, critical, studious, discriminating, cautious, never satisfied.

g  Libra: Charming, sociable, peace-loving, refined, diplomatic, artistic, indecisive, apathetic, easily deterred.

h  Scorpio: Passionate, secretive, penetrating, resourceful, suspicious, manipulative, jealous, sarcastic, intolerant, determined, aware.

i  Sagittarius: Freedom-loving, philosophical, optimistic, enthusiastic, careless, impatient, talkative, a know-it-all, broadminded, athletic, honest.

j  Capricorn: Serious, responsible, practical, hardworking, stubborn, brooding, inhibited, status-conscious, domineering, unforgiving.

k  Aquarius: Progressive, individualistic, unpredictable, cold, intellectual, artistic, eccentric, shy, impersonal, scientific.

l  Pisces: Compassionate, intuitive, ungrounded, romantic, impractical, self-sacrificing, seductive, musical, artistic.