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Jan312015

Get hold of yourself!

By Dana Gerhardt

Maybe this happened to you as a child: someone with an alarmed expression looked at you and shouted, “Get hold of yourself!” Maybe you were being impatient or dancing out a tantrum or you just couldn’t let go of something. Maybe an authoritative person even shook you by the arm. But your nerves were firing and you had no idea how you were supposed to control them.

If only someone had been around who better understood the human body. Bringing ourselves to calm is hard-wired into our systems. There are many routes to doing this. One method is hinted at in the very phrase “Get hold of yourself.” We can do something physical. We can use action and touch. Holding ourselves—applying pressure to the body—actually calms the nervous system. This is the universal technology behind the human hug.

As a child with autism, Temple Grandin instinctively liked the feel of deep pressure but found hugs from people over-stimulating. During her summers at her Aunt’s ranch, she noticed how the cattle calmed down in the squeeze chute that was used to hold them still for inoculations. She eventually built a similar machine for herself—a squeeze box—which worked to calm her hyper-sensitive body’s frequent stress and anxiety.

Grandin’s revelation was at first scorned by psychologists. But it’s since been widely accepted and has helped not only those with autism, it’s also helped to make our slaughterhouses more compassionate. Cows heading to slaughter are “contained” in a way that reduces their distress. Using a similar principle, “thunder shirts” are now available for dogs; the tight and sturdy shirt applies pressure that helps to calm a variety of pet anxieties and fears. (A shirt like this worked well for my dog Jupiter.)

But we don’t need to buy anything to help ourselves. We just need to be willing to practice and learn the amount of pressure that’s just right for our body. It’s easy to do. Sit in a safe place where you won’t be interrupted. Take a few conscious breaths into your belly and then let your breath naturally relax and find its rhythm. Next, sense the internal space of your body. Become aware of how it feels as one continuous shape—going from your toes, into your ankles, up to your knees, through your hips and torso, your shoulders, fingers, neck and head. If there is tension anywhere within this shape, send breath there, until, as best you can, you can feel your whole body as one fabric.

Now lightly wrap your arms around yourself—with very little pressure. Notice any change in the internal space. Wait until your body feels comfortable with this gesture. Then, squeeze your arms as tightly as you can—and release. How does the internal body feel now? For many of us, strong pressure is uncomfortable and inspires resistance. We feel more stressed (as when tipsy Uncle Harold gives us too big and tight of a hug).

This information is useful because we’re learning how to calibrate ourselves to find the perfect degree of pressure. You’ll know when you’ve reached it because the internal space shifts. It feels pleasant and calm, better than when you began.  So go back to a light grasp and gradually draw your arms in, pausing as you go. The pausing is critical. Unless your self awareness is extremely refined, you can miss this moment. When you hit it right—the inner space lifts. In my own body, this moment comes as as sensation of uplift. Sometimes it feels like a soft golden light is warming my inner body or a precious nectar is flowing through it.

If you practice this exercise daily for thirty days, you’ll get good at it (eventually you can “charm” yourself into this state without using your arms). You’ll also notice a positive effect from daily calming yourself—which will likely decrease the occasions you’ll need to “get hold of yourself.” But if that happens, now you’ll know exactly what to do.

 

Emotional mastery is a natural consequence of  Moonwork.
Get support for starting your relationship with this fabulous celestial resource.
Enroll in Dana’s monthly Moon workshop!

© 2015 Dana Gerhardt

Filed under: Blog, Emotional Mastery

About Dana Gerhardt

A popular columnist with The Mountain Astrologer since 1991, Dana Gerhardt is an internationally respected astrologer. She has lectured extensively and written for astrology publications on several continents. Her ongoing passions are the moon and living the intuitive life. Dana worked for many years in the corporate sector, where she observed the undeniable influence of natural cycles. She graduated Phi Beta Kappa, Magna Cum Laude from Occidental College in Los Angeles and did graduate work in literature at Columbia University and CSULA. Dana can be contacted by email.

Comments

  1. Carolyn k Cornish says

    Feb 8, 2015 at 6:03 am

    Dear Dana,

    After a successful few months at a new school where I was appreciated for my professional expertise and liked as a person, I decided to retire. The flu might have had something to do with it! I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I just “knew it was time”.
    Although I find retirement good, this new Life Style, takes some getting used to. Still sometimes I get panicky. This containment ritual seems a perfect addition to my daily self-care.

    Thank you,

    Carolyn k

    Reply
  2. Dana Gerhardt says

    Feb 1, 2015 at 9:36 am

    Exactly!

    Reply
  3. Linda Smith says

    Feb 1, 2015 at 8:27 am

    I immediately thought of how we “swaddle” new born babies to help them feel calm and safe! I have a Chihuahua that has seizures and the best way to help her get through them is to wedge her into a small soft space with a blanket and just gently stroke her forehead and ears until it passes. I need to figure out how to “swaddle” myself when overwhelm threatens, your suggestions help tremendously.

    Thank you!

    Linda

    Reply
    • Donna Duvall says

      Feb 1, 2015 at 2:05 pm

      Linda,

      After reading this wonderful piece on “containing” ourselves to promote calm, I realized that for many years I was inadvertently “swaddling” myself when I slept on my very comfortable couch, wrapped in a soft bathrobe and blankets, with my back snug up against the couch. I always sleep better this way…much better than in my queen-sized bed where I rattle around all night. I have many times considered buying a daybed for the bedroom where I can “contain” myself for a better night’s sleep. You might try this!

      Reply

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m  Conjunction:  Like peas in a pod, planets in conjunction tend to come from the same place. They act together, but it’s also hard to tell them apart. This aspect can increase talent, focus, and intensity (“two are better than one”). Or one planet can disappear as the other dominates. Their connection feels so natural, it’s easy to think everyone blends these planetary energies just as you do—but mostly, they don’t!.

p  Sextile:  Planets in sextile are compatible, though without any fireworks. This aspect doesn’t demand your attention. It quietly presents an opportunity. You can join these archetypal forces. Donna Cunningham has called this the “Oh, that!” aspect, because that’s generally what her clients say when she describes their benefits.  To get the most from sextiles you need to actively work them.

q  Square:  Squares are wild and wonderful—but difficult too. The power struggle between these planets was likely defined in your youth, when they were impossibly challenging. People are usually aware of their squares. They force the issues that make you to grow. And that’s their gift. They ensure you learn your lessons. When you rise to the occasion, they bless you with energy, action, and success.

r  Trine:  Michael Munkasey has dubbed this the “goddess aspect” because it’s so lovely. Identifying talents you may have perfected in a previous life, trines can bring you joy. There’s a nice flow of energy between planets in trine. They support and reinforce each another. But without any struggle, you might take them for granted—neither using nor developing their gifts. An unattended trine can sometimes trick you into negative behaviors.

t  Inconjunct/Quincunx:  Your quincunx planets are innately incompatible. Bringing them into harmonious expression requires constant adjustments. This can be stressful, also motivating. You’ve got to keep changing your process, opinions or attitude—which promotes highly creative solutions.

u  Opposition:  They say opposites attract—and planets in opposition are never far from each other, though they’re constantly bickering. You may be triggered into awareness of this aspect by other people who seem to resist or undermine you.  An opposition can make you feel uncertain, insecure, or discontent, until you can accept and see yourself in both energies. Typically people find it easier to identify with one side and project the other onto unsuspecting others in the outer world.

First House: Personality, physical body, beginnings. Includes the Ascendant and rules physical appearance, the image you project to others, your general outlook on life, how you start things; may describe your role in your family system, often guides your first impression of immediate environment.

Second House: Money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions, talents.

Third House: Communication, thoughts, language skills like writing and speaking, early schooling, siblings and neighbors, short trips, coming and going around town.

Fourth House: Your home, psychological foundations and roots, family, parents, domestic life, instinctive behavior, ancestry, your connection with the past, sense of security, domestic life, real estate. conditions at the end of life.

Fifth House: Children, creativity, romance; pleasure, entertainment, self-expression; all forms of “play”, speculation, gambling, and attitude towards taking risks; hobbies, attitude towards romance, lovers as opposed to partners, attitude towards having fun.

Sixth House: Work and job (as opposed to career), daily life, attitude towards service and coworkers, helpfulness, pets, attitude towards routine and organization, how you refine and perfect your skills.

Seventh House: Partnerships, one-to-one relationships, marriage, the first marriage, the “significant other”, business partnerships, competitors, open enemies, lawyers, mediators, counselors, contracts, negotiations, agreements. clients/the public.

Eighth House: Transformations and crisis, your ability to meet and rebound from crisis and change, sexuality; sex, death and rebirth, rituals and personal growth, your partner’s resources, addictions, psychology, other people’s money, taxes, divorce/alimony, inheritance.

Ninth House: Attitude toward expanding horizons, religious beliefs and personal philosophy, higher education, long-distance travel, morals, foreign languages and cultures, personal truths, publishing, commerce, advertising, your sense of adventure.

Tenth House: Career and profession, your contribution to society, social status, public reputation, material success, how you carve out a public identity for yourself; attitude toward authority figures, parents, caregivers, bosses, governments, attitude towards responsibility, desire for achievement.

Eleventh House: Friends, groups, organizations; hopes, wishes, aspirations, personal goals; your philanthropic attitude, concern for the collective, humanity; like tenth, can bring recognition and honors for fulfilling hopes and dreams.

Twelfth House: What’s hidden beneath the surface, karmic dustbin, limiting childhood/past-life messages, self-undoing, hidden enemies, hidden weaknesses, dreams, secret affairs, lost items, hospitals and prisons, hidden strengths, spiritual studies and soul growth.

A  Sun: Our vitality and magnetism; self-identity, ego.
Roles: The Self, the Hero, the Performer, the King.

B  Moon: Intuition, emotion, nurture.
Roles: The Mother, the High Priestess, the Child.

C  Mercury: Mind; physical dexterity and mental agility.
Roles: The Thinker, the Communicator, the Student, the Trickster, the Merchant, the Thief.

D  Venus: Our capacity for pleasure, receptivity, creativity, and social connection. Also indicates our relationships, self esteem, and financial abundance.
Roles: The Lover, the Seductress, the Artist.

E  Mars: Desire, initiative, anger.
Roles: The Protector, the Athlete, the Warrior.

F  Jupiter: Luck, opportunity, expansion, higher learning, religion.
Roles: The Scholar, the Gypsy, the Traveler, the Monk, the Professor.

G  Saturn: Hard work, commitment, focus, inadequacy, leadership, suffering, loss.
Roles: The Task Master, the Grim Reaper, the Wise Old Man, the Builder, the Cynic, the Boss.

H  Uranus: Change, breakthroughs, upsets, discoveries.
Roles: The Revolutionary, the Humanitarian, the Visionary, the Snob.

I  Neptune: Imagination, spirituality, idealism, addictions, deception, compassion.
Roles: The Artist, the Romantic, the Guru, the Addict, the Martyr, the Victim.

J  Pluto: Transformation, power, psychological dynamics, helplessness.
Roles: The Terrorist, the Detective, the Psychotherapist, the Dictator, shady people.

a  Aries: Pioneering, competitive, selfish, impatient, courageous, reckless, independent, dynamic, domineering, “Me first!”

b  Taurus: Patient, stable, lazy, dependable, practical, sensual, stubborn, artistic, possessive, greedy, gentle, loyal.

c  Gemini: Intelligent, curious, adaptable, quick-witted, restless, clever, scatterbrained, lacking follow-through.

d  Cancer: Nourishing, intuitive, protective, moody, sensitive, maternal, domestic, childish, cautious, creative.

e  Leo: Proud, dignified, vain, expressive, romantic, generous, childish, overbearing, self-assured, creative.

f  Virgo: Perfection-seeking, practical, methodical, petty, critical, studious, discriminating, cautious, never satisfied.

g  Libra: Charming, sociable, peace-loving, refined, diplomatic, artistic, indecisive, apathetic, easily deterred.

h  Scorpio: Passionate, secretive, penetrating, resourceful, suspicious, manipulative, jealous, sarcastic, intolerant, determined, aware.

i  Sagittarius: Freedom-loving, philosophical, optimistic, enthusiastic, careless, impatient, talkative, a know-it-all, broadminded, athletic, honest.

j  Capricorn: Serious, responsible, practical, hardworking, stubborn, brooding, inhibited, status-conscious, domineering, unforgiving.

k  Aquarius: Progressive, individualistic, unpredictable, cold, intellectual, artistic, eccentric, shy, impersonal, scientific.

l  Pisces: Compassionate, intuitive, ungrounded, romantic, impractical, self-sacrificing, seductive, musical, artistic.