I took my first inter-island trip this past weekend, alone, to Kauai, a neighboring isle. My rental car, a huge boat of a Cadillac, belonged in Texas not backroad beaches, was what I call a “God car”– a big boss of a car. It set the tone for the trip. I figured this weekend was about owning it, owning my Divinity. In my God car, I would feel what it’s like to be all-knowing and everywhere all at once, to part seas (of crowds and cars).
Sometimes you own it… and sometimes you lose it to find it.
Parking my God car near the hotel entrance with the intent to snorkel, the waves sent a lava rock smashing into my foot so I changed my agenda. When I saw people hiking cliffs down the beach, I set down my beach stuff, debated momentarily about what to do with my keys and grabbed my phone.
It was a rocky, sweaty hike up, requiring all hands on deck. The view from the top was spectacular, even if I didn’t see any turtles, as promised by the review site. I scrambled down the side of a sandy cliff, took pictures of the sea cove, and hiked back down to my gear, reaching for my car key… Wait, where was my key?
Back up the cliffs I went, retracing my steps, though this time in panicked prayer. God, Goddess All That Is, this is the time to show me my inner vision. Up and down I scoured the sandy ground, and then up and down again, thinking that if I stopped hyperventilating I would have a much better chance of said all-knowing vision kicking in. As I walked the perimeter, at every point I stopped and heard, “The keys aren’t here.”
My vision turned out to be right on, even if in that moment I mistook it for a worry addled mind.
On my third or fourth (?) trip down, and back, I met a young Hawaiian man. Twenty minutes later at the top of the cliff, he was there, too. “I’ve been looking for your keys,” he said, describing where he’d already been. “My friends are searching for you, too,” he said, as one walked over. I thanked him profusely, deeply touched. “I know how it is. I would jump in the water to look, but I am recovering from an ear infection.” At all of this, my heart clenched a little, my eyes watered. “This is Aloha,” I said, meaning it and thinking that if this was the whole point of this crazy search it would absolutely be enough.
Dehydrated, walking back with no keys, I resignedly folded up my towel and put it in my beach bag, prepared to spend time and money on something I didn’t want to do.
My keys. In the little pocket of my bag — right where I’d left them. Oh God!
Oh God was right. Instantly, I knew. I had been looking out for myself all along. I had never lost the connection, I just thought I had. Through the doubt, fear, panic, regret, confusion… the keys were always there. All was well. All Is Well. And even if they hadn’t been there, All Is Well.
This is the million dollar metaphor. There is only one thing we can ever lose: our connection to our peaceful, present, patient, kind, eternal self. When we lose that, we lose everything. And paradoxically even that loss is an illusion because we are always connected.
But we forget. We get confused. We think we’ve lost our keys on a beach and tell our self a story about how impossible it is to find keys on a beach. We become afraid and worried when things don’t go according to plan. We think dreadful thoughts, like, “Now, I’ll never be able to…”. Only to realize we can, and could.
We forget we are driving around in a God car, that Spirit has us covered at all times.
Pisces Full Moon has the potential to bring up doubt, confusion, panic, worry, madness, and any other illusion we can experience in our emotional body. And then, on the drop of a dime delivers miracles, magic and acts of faith and grace that leave us breathlessly awe-inspired and deeply connected to Spirit. We lose connection and then find it again. We contract into our small self and then expand into our big self.
We are infinite potential. When we allow this awareness in, we realize we are so infinite that we can change our entire experience on a dime, just by remembering who we truly are. It’s a subtle shift of energy and focus, like shifting from the foreground action of a painting to the background that holds everything. Energetically, it’s the subtle shifts that make all the difference.
And it is an ongoing practice.
For instance, as I write this, the Hawaiian islands are under hurricane watch. Schools and beaches are closed. Ships have been ordered out of the harbor. Stores have been sold out of drinking water for days. Life in paradise! It would be easy to hang out in the collective anxiety and let it commandeer my energy. Instead, I drop into my Soul. I ask the question and feel the calm, peaceful affirmative answer. All Is Well.
ALL is well
all IS well
all is WELL
Steep in your infinite self at this Full Moon. Make it your Full Moon practice.