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Know when to be a quitter

Secret #5: Know when to be a quitter.

Sometimes my workshop students tell me they’re disappointed in themselves. They haven’t kept up with their Moon work as much as they’d wanted to. The issue of “quitting” is rich and complicated and quite relevant to the moon’s teachings. While I love those students who are enthusiastic and earnest about their practice, I also love those who let it slide. For Moon work involves both: coming and going, focusing and falling away. The Sun is always the same, a bright orb, rising in the morning and setting at night. But the Moon changes… sleeping in, staying out all night, disappearing altogether. To practice Moon work with a steady discipline would be to approach it with a solar attitude. This will eventually burn you out. Moon work waxes and wanes just like the Moon. When you lose your connection to the moon, the moment you realize this is just a signal that you’re now ready to return—rather than an opportunity to beat yourself up.

That said, awareness is always better than going numb. Know when you’re deciding to fall away from the moon and why. I encourage my students to keep a record of these times. This is important information. If you skip out during the same Moon phase each cycle, likely there is something in the work of that phase which is challenging to you. The moon’s cycle is oriented towards growth. You can use its phases to support positive changes in your life. But if you habitually numb out during one of its phases, chances are your Moon work isn’t the only thing you’re letting slide. If you’re not creating the life you want, your Moon work can show where you’re missing opportunities for growth.

Quitting Bad Habits

Of course quitting isn’t always a bad thing. There are some things we’re dying to quit—like our crummy old habits. Moon work can be quite an ally in this endeavor. Traditional lunar wisdom says it’s easier to quit bad habits on a dark or “Balsamic” Moon (which occurs at the end of the cycle—in the three to four days before the New Moon). Try this and see for yourself. I’ve found that the Dark Moon can often be a sleepy time, when it’s hard to motivate myself to make bold new changes. Breaking free of bad habits may require an act of will that is better fueled by the New Moon. So if the “quit on a Dark Moon” principle doesn’t work for you, do the following during the Balsamic moon.

balsamic moonMourn whatever habit or attachment you want to release. Jump into bed for at least one irrational nap and let all of your feelings come up. Consider how you love this habit. And why you hate it. Imagine life without it. Feel the fear. Imagine yourself beyond the fear, happy, strong and free. Wander through the dark forest of all your feelings, without repressing them or getting stuck. Once you’ve explored them all, conclude with a simple clearing ritual. Write what you want to release on a piece of paper and then tear or burn it up. Or empty an old drawer or clean a corner of your closet and throw away what you no longer need. The energy in this area will be sparkling. Breathe it in as an encouragement for the new you.

Significant changes are often better accomplished during the New Moon, Crescent or First Quarter phases. But you have to prepare yourself first. And that’s what the end of each cycle is for. As the moon wanes, awareness of what you no longer need waxes. You can see what’s standing in your way. You will probably have to slow down in order to receive this insight. The Dark Moon is like one of those mountain ramps for rescuing runaway trucks that have lost their brakes. Veer onto this Dark Moon ramp and let your careening momentum run itself out. After come to stillness, new visions will come. This is the blessing when you release your baggage. Use the cycle’s end to prepare your beginning. Commit to resting—and releasing something old—at the end of every Moon cycle. Do this for one year and I guarantee that your life will come closer to the one you’ve always dreamed about.

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m  Conjunction:  Like peas in a pod, planets in conjunction tend to come from the same place. They act together, but it’s also hard to tell them apart. This aspect can increase talent, focus, and intensity (“two are better than one”). Or one planet can disappear as the other dominates. Their connection feels so natural, it’s easy to think everyone blends these planetary energies just as you do—but mostly, they don’t!.

p  Sextile:  Planets in sextile are compatible, though without any fireworks. This aspect doesn’t demand your attention. It quietly presents an opportunity. You can join these archetypal forces. Donna Cunningham has called this the “Oh, that!” aspect, because that’s generally what her clients say when she describes their benefits.  To get the most from sextiles you need to actively work them.

q  Square:  Squares are wild and wonderful—but difficult too. The power struggle between these planets was likely defined in your youth, when they were impossibly challenging. People are usually aware of their squares. They force the issues that make you to grow. And that’s their gift. They ensure you learn your lessons. When you rise to the occasion, they bless you with energy, action, and success.

r  Trine:  Michael Munkasey has dubbed this the “goddess aspect” because it’s so lovely. Identifying talents you may have perfected in a previous life, trines can bring you joy. There’s a nice flow of energy between planets in trine. They support and reinforce each another. But without any struggle, you might take them for granted—neither using nor developing their gifts. An unattended trine can sometimes trick you into negative behaviors.

t  Inconjunct/Quincunx:  Your quincunx planets are innately incompatible. Bringing them into harmonious expression requires constant adjustments. This can be stressful, also motivating. You’ve got to keep changing your process, opinions or attitude—which promotes highly creative solutions.

u  Opposition:  They say opposites attract—and planets in opposition are never far from each other, though they’re constantly bickering. You may be triggered into awareness of this aspect by other people who seem to resist or undermine you.  An opposition can make you feel uncertain, insecure, or discontent, until you can accept and see yourself in both energies. Typically people find it easier to identify with one side and project the other onto unsuspecting others in the outer world.

First House: Personality, physical body, beginnings. Includes the Ascendant and rules physical appearance, the image you project to others, your general outlook on life, how you start things; may describe your role in your family system, often guides your first impression of immediate environment.

Second House: Money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions, talents.

Third House: Communication, thoughts, language skills like writing and speaking, early schooling, siblings and neighbors, short trips, coming and going around town.

Fourth House: Your home, psychological foundations and roots, family, parents, domestic life, instinctive behavior, ancestry, your connection with the past, sense of security, domestic life, real estate. conditions at the end of life.

Fifth House: Children, creativity, romance; pleasure, entertainment, self-expression; all forms of “play”, speculation, gambling, and attitude towards taking risks; hobbies, attitude towards romance, lovers as opposed to partners, attitude towards having fun.

Sixth House: Work and job (as opposed to career), daily life, attitude towards service and coworkers, helpfulness, pets, attitude towards routine and organization, how you refine and perfect your skills.

Seventh House: Partnerships, one-to-one relationships, marriage, the first marriage, the “significant other”, business partnerships, competitors, open enemies, lawyers, mediators, counselors, contracts, negotiations, agreements. clients/the public.

Eighth House: Transformations and crisis, your ability to meet and rebound from crisis and change, sexuality; sex, death and rebirth, rituals and personal growth, your partner’s resources, addictions, psychology, other people’s money, taxes, divorce/alimony, inheritance.

Ninth House: Attitude toward expanding horizons, religious beliefs and personal philosophy, higher education, long-distance travel, morals, foreign languages and cultures, personal truths, publishing, commerce, advertising, your sense of adventure.

Tenth House: Career and profession, your contribution to society, social status, public reputation, material success, how you carve out a public identity for yourself; attitude toward authority figures, parents, caregivers, bosses, governments, attitude towards responsibility, desire for achievement.

Eleventh House: Friends, groups, organizations; hopes, wishes, aspirations, personal goals; your philanthropic attitude, concern for the collective, humanity; like tenth, can bring recognition and honors for fulfilling hopes and dreams.

Twelfth House: What’s hidden beneath the surface, karmic dustbin, limiting childhood/past-life messages, self-undoing, hidden enemies, hidden weaknesses, dreams, secret affairs, lost items, hospitals and prisons, hidden strengths, spiritual studies and soul growth.

A  Sun: Our vitality and magnetism; self-identity, ego.
Roles: The Self, the Hero, the Performer, the King.

B  Moon: Intuition, emotion, nurture.
Roles: The Mother, the High Priestess, the Child.

C  Mercury: Mind; physical dexterity and mental agility.
Roles: The Thinker, the Communicator, the Student, the Trickster, the Merchant, the Thief.

D  Venus: Our capacity for pleasure, receptivity, creativity, and social connection. Also indicates our relationships, self esteem, and financial abundance.
Roles: The Lover, the Seductress, the Artist.

E  Mars: Desire, initiative, anger.
Roles: The Protector, the Athlete, the Warrior.

F  Jupiter: Luck, opportunity, expansion, higher learning, religion.
Roles: The Scholar, the Gypsy, the Traveler, the Monk, the Professor.

G  Saturn: Hard work, commitment, focus, inadequacy, leadership, suffering, loss.
Roles: The Task Master, the Grim Reaper, the Wise Old Man, the Builder, the Cynic, the Boss.

H  Uranus: Change, breakthroughs, upsets, discoveries.
Roles: The Revolutionary, the Humanitarian, the Visionary, the Snob.

I  Neptune: Imagination, spirituality, idealism, addictions, deception, compassion.
Roles: The Artist, the Romantic, the Guru, the Addict, the Martyr, the Victim.

J  Pluto: Transformation, power, psychological dynamics, helplessness.
Roles: The Terrorist, the Detective, the Psychotherapist, the Dictator, shady people.

a  Aries: Pioneering, competitive, selfish, impatient, courageous, reckless, independent, dynamic, domineering, “Me first!”

b  Taurus: Patient, stable, lazy, dependable, practical, sensual, stubborn, artistic, possessive, greedy, gentle, loyal.

c  Gemini: Intelligent, curious, adaptable, quick-witted, restless, clever, scatterbrained, lacking follow-through.

d  Cancer: Nourishing, intuitive, protective, moody, sensitive, maternal, domestic, childish, cautious, creative.

e  Leo: Proud, dignified, vain, expressive, romantic, generous, childish, overbearing, self-assured, creative.

f  Virgo: Perfection-seeking, practical, methodical, petty, critical, studious, discriminating, cautious, never satisfied.

g  Libra: Charming, sociable, peace-loving, refined, diplomatic, artistic, indecisive, apathetic, easily deterred.

h  Scorpio: Passionate, secretive, penetrating, resourceful, suspicious, manipulative, jealous, sarcastic, intolerant, determined, aware.

i  Sagittarius: Freedom-loving, philosophical, optimistic, enthusiastic, careless, impatient, talkative, a know-it-all, broadminded, athletic, honest.

j  Capricorn: Serious, responsible, practical, hardworking, stubborn, brooding, inhibited, status-conscious, domineering, unforgiving.

k  Aquarius: Progressive, individualistic, unpredictable, cold, intellectual, artistic, eccentric, shy, impersonal, scientific.

l  Pisces: Compassionate, intuitive, ungrounded, romantic, impractical, self-sacrificing, seductive, musical, artistic.