While Julia is taking a well deserved vacation this week,
we’re happy to run the following from her Oracle Archives.
I am 19 years old, a young, ambitious though somewhat lost individual seeking answers about my future and my past. I was born November 16, 1992 and have already lived a rough life. It is quite shocking to recollect the details because my history seems quite abnormal when I compare it to others around me. Two months ago I ended a three year relationship. I am now feeling that I have never truly reflected on my life, never really thought about my life. I have always been a person with many questions, a researcher, and an avid learner with an aspiration to become a therapist. I have become spiritual at the beginning of 2012 acknowledging my new, much needed independence but I struggle to find comfort within myself. I have been reading a lot lately mostly astrology, psychology, or Buddhism. I try to meditate every day although I still struggle to develop a routine. My new life which began closer to age 17 consists of my drive to be successful and also to be selfless. Before 17, I was a very selfish person but I did lose my mother (emotionally, she has not yet passed away) to brain cancer at age 14. I had many needs that were not met in my childhood and now into my young adulthood. I was forced into independence at 14 which is when I became dependent on escapes such as partying.
I have no desire for escapes anymore although recently my past desires have tricked me. I gave in but I do not feel satisfied with my actions and contradictions – how I am outside of work and school is quite contrary to my successful work and student life. I broke off my 3 year relationship because I was not being treated with respect and he was an addict who could not meet my needs. I do not know how I did not realize this for 3 years, though because we were very close friends I have been numb but happy and accepting. I feel I am on the path to a happier place although I am still amongst very unhealthy people, those I live with as well as other family members. My role has become constant and resilient but I do not let them affect me any longer. However, the pain and stress continues to exist. Will I be able to find a healthier escape? And what about my friendships and romantic relationships? I am becoming more realistic when it comes to romance seeing the faults in my past relationships. I am currently pursuing a person who created the blueprint for what I want in a man, the person who made me feel good about myself as an independent person, but a person who has voiced no interest in dating only in offering comfort in a friends with benefits sort of fashion which is not what I want with him. I also feel he is not right for me. I am concerned about my friendships not having had a best friend since I was 15. I am having fun which was not the case in my past relationship since I was always babysitting my boyfriend or being verbally abused by him. I still like to have a carefree attitude in a more realistic way. My spirituality is helping me break free of my escapes though I am still using some of them. I have a lot more intuition now. Am I on a forward path? (TC)
Yes, you are on a forward path, which is truly a conscious path. For a very young woman you display the insight of a Scorpio – insight, reflection and self awareness. No, you are not yet free of escapes, pain, loneliness, neediness, or contradictions but you will be working on these normal human struggles throughout your life as we all do. This is the work of a spiritual life intensified by your Scorpio nature.
Your desire to become a therapist fits well with Scorpio’s natural interest and ability in human psychology and motivation as well as your own genuine need to understand and heal your own life. All Scorpios live a life with more intense, emotional, dramatic, and often painful experiences yet it is this very intensity of life experience which opens the doors to perception, intuition and awareness. With Venus, Uranus, and Neptune in ambitious Capricorn and your strong Scorpio Sun and Pluto conjunction in Virgo’s 6th house of work and skill, you can and do work diligently at your education and jobs. Now you are applying the same effort and focus to your own emotional behavior and life path which will yield significant results as you develop the discipline, routines and follow through you are now seeking.
Born with your Sun, Mars and Pluto in water/feeling signs you are a profoundly emotional, sensitive individual with a soulful need to find meaningful connection with others who are capable of authenticity, loyalty, depth and genuine closeness. First, note that you are just beginning to understand what you need in relationships, develop your own emotional presence with yourself, recognize the emotional capacity of others and integrate all of this new awareness. It is inevitable that you would have met and established a serious but conflicted relationship with a lover as transiting Pluto moved into its once in your lifetime conjunction to your natal Venus. These are usually painful, somewhat compulsive or fated relationships from which we are meant to learn who we really are, what we really need and who others really are. As transiting Uranus reached your Venus you became aware of what was true in this relationship, that lightning bolt of insight which frees us from our unconscious needs and ready to assess what we genuinely need and can create for ourselves in order to find fulfillment.
This year as transiting Jupiter, the planet of growth/desire to find and pursue our soul path and potential, crossed your Ascendant beginning a new 12 year of development you have opened to your soul in meaningful ways that will lead to great success. Your 4th house of family is ruled by your Sun/Pluto in Scorpio squaring your 4th house Leo Moon suggesting loss and struggle which has occurred with your mother’s illness, your own emotional isolation and difficult family members. It won’t be possible or necessary for you to change them but it is possible to free yourself and seek your own path as you are doing. Really, there are no escapes from life, feeling, needs and others. But it is our task to love ourselves, our lives, and our work, and to find a loving relationship – which you will surely do over time, since you are making an early and serious beginning. With your chart ruler, Mercury in your 7th house of marriage along with your north node of the Moon, you will find your partner in this life.
My life has really been upside down, some of which I created, some of which I was dealt. Either way, I try to roll with the ebb and flow. This past year has brought about some issues in reference to my father. Last year my Mom (December 14, 1944) died suddenly at age 67 of a massive cardiac arrest. My parents had been divorced for many years and enjoyed a very diverse lifestyle. Due to economics, my Mom and Dad shared the same home (following hurricane Ivan which destroyed both of their homes) where Mom paid a little more than half of all bills in the house. After my Mom’s sudden passing (which I still have questions about as she was in her car when this happened), I moved in with Dad and assumed Mom’s role keeping the house and yard clean, helping with bills, etc. My father made all my issues seem insignificant though my husband being laid off from my job following a positive cancer test are not insignificant. The more we tried to help, the more we were yelled at enduring his harsh words. I assumed a normal part of grief is anger and since my Dad is 92 (June 5, 1920) he is just mad about the entire situation.
Well, over the months things simmered down but this hatred of my mother continues to rear its head from my Dad. This past weekend my father suddenly moved a woman into his house and I do mean suddenly. He told no one until she was pulling into the front yard. He told me to remove all my Mom’s personal effects as this lady was moving into Mom’s bedroom. OK, I did…but this was all out of left field. I asked my Dad how he met this lady which he refused to tell me. I asked him if he had checked her background to which he said no. She apparently told him she was a cop who was having family issues with her grown children and just wanted to get away from it all so moved in with my Dad. She informed me she has been married once, had 5 kids, 2 of whom turned out well while the other 3 did not having criminal records and drug abuse histories as well as being pagans. She spoke to me nervously so I left.
Once home I began to pull up her background and located over 25+ criminal charges including aggressive battery, DUI, disorderly conduct, VOP and more. I immediately called my Dad and told him about this history but he will not hear one word I say because she told him these charges are all a result of others doing harm to her. She is playing the damsel in distress, born May 12, 1951. In one week she has driven a wedge between my father and me. I fear the end result here. What do you see about her, pure or is she the evil soul I fear she is. Do you see this situation correcting itself without my father getting hurt? What can I do to help break the bond she has with my father now? I thank you for any help and advice. (SL)
Ouch, your concerns are significant. Losing your mother suddenly, your husband’s layoff and health concerns and now your father’s impulsive, ill considered attachment to this woman he has brought into your mutual home. Though you did supply your birth time and location, you did not have this information for your parents or your Dad’s paramour, which is understandable but not as much information as I would ideally want to analyze. Let’s begin with your chart showing transiting Saturn in your 4th house of family conjunct your natal Moon (your home, family and parents), which is always a difficult, challenging time at home and with family. This transit is often characterized by hard work (all the cleaning, cooking, caretaking, worry, and financial hardship), limitations and burdens without much emotional comfort. Unfortunately, your father is dismissive of your very real emotional needs after losing your Mom, having to move into their home due to financial necessity and the desire to care for him, ranting about your Mom and displacing you in their home with this woman you do not know who may be a burden or danger to him or you. Hard! Fortunately, Saturn will move on from these difficult aspects in September. Jupiter is transiting your 12th house where your blessings, growth and opportunities will mostly be internal, psychological and spiritual. What you learn in this time, how you can serve and support and your own prayers are your best foundation.
Mercury which rules your 4th house is progressed to a quincunx to your natal Neptune making this a confusing, disappointing time when your efforts to manage your outer environment will not be effective. I doubt your father will listen to you. Gemini men frequently seek out women who are much younger than they are, especially as they age. It makes them feel young. Looking at his planets, I can see that he is bright, interesting, and charming when he wants to be but not amenable to listening to anyone. He will do what he wants and either fight you or ignore you if you attempt to interfere with his decisions. Since you wisely did find out this woman’s birthday, I can tell you that she has had a difficult life, is feeling quite desperate, will fight for what she wants and can be manipulative (Sun conjunct Mars square Pluto) – but I don’t think she is evil. Do remember that she is traumatized by her life and thus can be impulsive, extreme or extraordinarily self protective. Unless your Dad is legally incompetent you cannot stop him from doing what he wants to do and pressuring him will only cause him to be more defiant and stubborn. He does not fare well without a woman in his life. Good Luck.