Dear Aphrodite, My relationship has just ended, a relationship that I deeply believed would be a lifelong partnership. Our connection felt very unique and singular, but we neglected the third body, our relationship. He left me for someone he had just met. Is there any insight you can give into why this pattern of being left, either through infidelity or seeing your partner fall in love with someone else, has repeated for me? -Anna
Dear Anna, I don’t believe a birth chart can tell us whether we are vulnerable to patterns of infidelity, however, it does illuminate blind spots and areas of growth with others.
Astrologically, you were born during a full moon phase which consistently draws you toward relationship to learn about your self. Partners are your greatest teachers. With Gemini Moon on your seventh house cusp, ongoing dialogue, being present to and involved with the daily life of the partnership, staying in touch and most importantly really listening to what’s being communicated (or not), are vital to an engaged, balanced relationship. Your third house Pisces South Node (ruled by Sun-Neptune conjunction in the twelfth house) suggests you can become overly absorbed in your own dreamy inner world and processes. When you get too relaxed into the daily patterns of partnership you can miss out on the nuances of information available to you, from your partner. Being curious about the other’s perceptions, present, making daily efforts to check in about work, life, each other’s satisfaction levels, desires and needs from the relationship are ways of staying engaged.
With your natal Venus and Uranus conjunct in Scorpio, intimacy involves compassionate emotional honesty, transparency, sexual empowerment and deep loyalty. Unfortunately this pinnacle of intimacy often arises only after “fierce grace” type experiences with others. I’m so sorry you have experienced betrayal, and I think this is important to say: It is not your fault. Experiencing the complexity of feeling around betrayal, grief and entering into process the healing of emotional trust and forgiveness is high Venus in Scorpio work. Honor this Venus work as part of your sacred feminine journey.
Here are some more practical tips:
We always attract from our Venus sign, so if you’re not drawing in the higher expression you may be attracting from your Venus shadow. For you, unreliable partners who may hold a piece of their self separate/dissociated from the relationship (Uranus) and who are not totally honest with you (Venus in Scorpio) are pointing you toward areas to look at, in yourself. Commit to embodying your Venus’ need to have a fiercely honest, healed, and rich relationship to your self, to others, to life.
Also, with such a clear pattern established, if you haven’t already, take a look at your primary relationship model: your parents. Journal about the model they set for you. Include their secrets, longings, unmet needs, dreams. If you don’t know what those were, imagine what they might have been (kids are really good at picking up on what was not voiced or expressed).
It’s rich territory to discover patterns occurring in our relationship life, even though the process leading us to awareness is painful. Yet if you consider every single relationship as a precious teacher, use those lessons learned as stepping stones toward greater authenticity and connection with your self, you get closer to finding, and keeping, the love you dearly desire. –Jessica