I was in a relationship for 13 years. We split up two years ago but barely two months after the break up my ex announced he was engaged to be married. This broke my heart as we have a 4-year-old son, and in all the time we were together he never made the effort to marry me. I have found it next to impossible to move on. What can I do to heal my life and heart?–Carolina
It takes time to grieve the ending of a relationship but one that brings up complex feelings of betrayal and forgiveness, like yours, has more nefarious claws: it’s easy to get emotionally stuck. Regret, blame, anger and hurt have a natural place in endings but these emotions eventually become a way to hold onto the relationship because (to the heart’s logic) even a negative connection is better than no connection.
Letting go is difficult for a Scorpio Sun born, but when a part of you doesn’t want to let go, it will hold the rest of your life hostage. This Scorpio New Moon Solar Eclipse empowers personal transformation. Some transformations take time, but others, like those occurring around this Eclipse, can appear to happen in an instant, allowing us to quickly shed old skin. This Eclipse falls in your first house of self-image, so your transformation revolves around how you see your self. Are you ready to be the powerfully liberated woman you are, or do you need more self-honesty around the stories you are telling your self about this relationship?
This Eclipse is a powerful time for laying old lives, loves and identities, to rest. Ask the Scorpio Goddesses to work for you by creating a funeral homage to your loss. Demonstrate how committed you are to moving forward by honoring what what was and no longer is, then letting it go. Write a poem, compose a song, collage, or build an altar for the love and life you once had. Pour your heart into it. Allow your self to fully feel everything: the pain, the sorrow, the anger and the joy you once shared. Then bury or set this on fire.
You can facilitate this process with truthfulness. By honestly acknowledging that a part of you really doesn’t want to let go, the part of you that really does want to let go—the part of you that truly wants freedom for both yourself and the other person—can take the next step toward forgiveness. When one day, you look for hurt in your heart and find forgiveness instead, that’s how you’ll know you’re truly free.