Hello Flora, My Mom is in hospice. I believe that her time of transition is coming soon. Sometimes, I feel strong and feel that I can let her go back to the Great Mother Ocean. Other times, I feel so sad and empty and weep like a baby. What flowers can help me now? xox Nina
Nina, as I gather myself to respond to your flower essence inquiry, I do not know if your Mom has completed her transition or if she is still here, on Earth, so I am responding to you, with tenderness, for both possibilities.
Because of the uniqueness of each and every life, and relationship, I am keenly aware that I cannot possibly know what you are experiencing as you stand present to your Mom’s waning life here in the physical. At the same time, on countless occasions I have sat with deep presence at the bedside of my fellow human travelers during their final days on Earth, softly singing with my “sisters,” the Threshold Singers. I’ve witnessed the final breaths of the dying, and have sat silently with the wives, children, grandchildren, friends, and husbands of the departing, knowing very little about the personal details of their relationships. I have experienced my heart break open time and again in awe of the normalcy of it all, the mystery of it all, and the beauty of it all.
Now, dear Nina, in these precious moments you are being invited by the cycling of life to become soft enough, strong enough, and big enough to hold all of your experiences and feelings with equal compassion and respect, and often—yes—simultaneously. This is no small undertaking, particularly when your heart is feeling stretched to new capacities—yet the invitation has been delivered—straight to the threshold of your heart.
It sounds as though you are beautifully attuned to the natural ebb and flow of your strength as you hold loving space for your Mom as well as the sad, weeping child saying good-bye. With loving kindness, you are allowing both aspects to be honored, gently reminding yourself that all of your feelings are valid.
You asked, “What flowers can help me now?” There are two deeply supportive pre-made FES formulas for you to consider, the Compassionate Care Giver formula and Grief Relief formula. If your Mom is still here, receive the Compassionate Care Giver formula to support you in bringing your presence to her in her final days. If she has already transitioned from this world to the next, you may feel more aligned with the Grief Relief to assist you in being present to your grieving process. Both formulas include the cherished, blue, Forget-Me-Not flower essence, gently reminding you that the bond of love the two of you established remains even after your Mom has left this Earth.
Nina, the pre-made flower essence formulas mentioned above will be tremendously effective, offering you solace at this time in your life. In the months to come, when you are no longer in the role of care-giver, if you find yourself feeling underlying spiritual, psychological, or emotional themes presenting as a result of your Mom’s death, a deeply personalized flower essence blend may be more effective in addressing your experiences, assisting you in moving beyond symptom relief and into lasting, personal, transformation. You can trust and fully embrace your sense of timing and your unique way. They are yours, so they are always perfect for you.
Treat yourself with tenderness during this extraordinary process, Nina. Consider receiving a gentle massage followed by a soak in a warm bath, and if you resonate with this idea, continue by breathing in the nameable feelings you are experiencing. Breathe them in as deeply as possible, straight into the center of your heart. Once you’ve filled your heart with the sweet breath of all your feelings, exhale slowly and steadily into emptiness, into the nameless. If you are willing, rest there for a moment. Feel yourself being held in that yielding, nourishing, quiet, feminine, womb-space. Repeat this exercise, with all your heart, each time feeling yourself resting with more ease into this spaciousness, where all is held in silence, and with limitless love. From here, gently mother yourself as you say good-bye to your Mom.
While writing this response, I received word from a friend on the East Coast that her dear Mom has entered the final stages of her transition. With a heart full of tenderness, I will now sing a Threshold song for your Mom, for my friend’s Mom, and for all our fellow human beings preparing to complete their time on this beautiful Earth: “Go in beauty, peace be with you, until we meet again, in the Light.”
