For the past 4 years, my marriage of 32 years has been on the brink of collapse. We just could not get along. With the pressure of an empty nest after raising 4 kids and major philosophical, political and spiritual differences; basically, it appears that we have very little in common. And, of course, this led to some “knock down, drag out” fights, very painful. Finally, after 4 years of this I said to myself “this is enough, I’ve had it, we’re splitting!” He flatly refuses to go to counseling and I know he was ready to separate also even though he still says he loves me. Just lately the discord has almost vanished. Now a time of peace but the wounds are still open and I can’t even get my feelings back on track to “love” him. I just play this gun shy, uncommitted wife trying to let our love flow on. What do you see in our charts? Thank you so – my birthday is March 5, 1954 and my husband’s birthday is February 7, 1955. (MC)
The complete Saturn cycle of approximately 29 years is always a critical time to reevaluate, review and be willing to release what we committed to at the beginning of that cycle whether that is a marriage, a career, a belief system or any other important structure in our life. The question is “does this serve me, my growth and my joy any longer?” and is there a more conscious, desired structure I have evolved toward, can and desire to choose for my future.
If you believe in karma and/or destiny, this is the time when you are not only free to make a new choice, to trust that you have completed your responsibilities in the previous structure but the time when you are called by your soul/life journey to make a new choice if that is the healthiest and most satisfying choice or to renew and recommit to the past situation if it can be reborn for the present and future.
Your marriage upheaval arose at 28 years of partnership, led to a near split and though the battles have calmed, nothing has improved in the marriage. No counseling, very little in common now other than a significant history which is in the past and painful, open wounds. If you can’t get your feelings “back on track to love him” maybe you are just done, complete. Your husband probably does “love” you though you do not describe feeling love for him anymore. Perhaps, your family and children were the purpose of your years together. If you had shown me this chart comparison years ago asking if this man was your ideal mate, life partner, I would have said no.
Yet, your husband’s Jupiter is conjunct your South Node of the Moon in Cancer which is an indicator of the potential, even the karma or destiny to have a family together. His Saturn trines your Moon in the 7th house of marriage and he has supported you, had children with you, raised a family with you which you both wanted (South Nodes in Cancer, the sign of family).
Relish what you have accomplished together. I suspect that you have been done with this marriage for at least 7 years due to progressions and transits that would be complex to describe here. While it is rightly your decision to stay or go, I can see a new and different future for you in your chart if that is what you choose. Offer yourself the freedom to choose, trust your excellent Pisces feelings and intuition to guide your choice.
I was born November 18, 1970. I have had a lot of upheaval in my life the past 3 years; falling in love, starting a new job, quitting that job months later to move to Hawaii with my fiance, getting married, and then 2 years later finding out that my husband cheated on me. We are now back on track with our marriage after going to counseling, but I still feel confused about my life in general. Where is it headed and what do I do to find fulfillment? I feel like I’ve just been spinning my wheels since we moved to Hawaii. Later this year my husband is retiring after which we will both be moving to another country and have been discussing having a baby or doing volunteer work. I guess I’m wondering if this drastic change will somehow help me find my life purpose? (MA)
Wow, yes, you have indeed had 3 or more years of upheaval in your life which we can see in transiting Neptune squaring your natal Sun, transiting Saturn conjuncting your natal Mars, transiting Neptune squaring your natal Neptune, transiting Uranus opposing your natal Uranus, transiting Pluto squaring your natal Uranus, transiting Uranus opposing your natal Pluto, and transiting Saturn in Scorpio moving across your Scorpio Venus/Jupiter/Sun and squaring your natal Moon as transiting Pluto squares your natal Uranus. Upheaval, change, challenge, confusion, disappointment, disillusionment, yet also, falling in love, getting married, going to counseling, getting your marriage back on track and looking toward an amazing number of choices for your future. When we see all 3 of the trans-personal planets challenging our identity, life and future in a few years you can expect to see your life turned upside down. This is the good news. It was time to let go and change/challenge everything in your previous life, to open every door making each choice for your future a conscious one.
Congratulations to you and your husband for your courage to make so many changes, to go into counseling and to now be willing to consider these new possibilities for your future together. Your marriage was a crucial piece of your destiny as it occurred when your progressed Moon, ruler of your 7th house of marriage, conjuncted your Ascendant while the potential for the improvement and healing of your marriage is visible in Jupiter’s transit into your 7th house.
A move to another country should be beneficial and successful during this next year as your progressed Venus (ruler of your 9th house of long distance moves) conjuncts your natal Sun. Fulfillment is the most important question for this time of your life as transiting Pluto reaches its conjunction to your Ascendant opening the door to your deepened, empowered awareness of yourself, your desires, your potential, your independence (the ability to be yourself not the need to be alone), and your ability to initiate what you most want/are called to be and do in this life.
Pluto will be your challenging companion for the next 2 years as you begin, experiment, risk finding your fulfillment through following your intuition and desires. If you truly want a child, this is the time (the next 2 years as transiting Venus, the ruler of your 5th house of children, conjuncts your natal Sun) to become pregnant yet I would also suggest you seek a role in the world through which you can make a contribution in the world that is meaningful to you. Born with your Sun/Jupiter/Venus in the 10th house and your chart ruler, Saturn, in your 4th house makes both your 10th house role in the world and your 4th house home/location/family equally important to your fulfilled life.