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Ask the Oracle – August 17, 2012

By Julia Bondi

I guess my question is two-fold – first, do I have a purpose and, if so, what is it and how do I go about fulfilling it; second, have I met my true love yet and, if so, who is he? I am in a LTR but we almost split a while back and I fell for another. I got it into my head that he wasn’t interested in a full relationship and pulled back where upon he said that we’re back to just friends (I didn’t have the guts or wits to ask him what did he think we “were” so, of course, I am kicking myself for that now. Maybe he did want what I wanted? Anyway, was he the one? Can we get back together or is it not possible now? Anything you can tell me will be greatly appreciated. My birthday is 10/5/55, my LTR is 7/6/54 and the one I fell for is 6/3/58. Again, thank you for any information you can give me. (LG)

Two excellent questions which both highlight your awareness of your own chart. As a Libra with your Sun, Mercury, Venus, Neptune, and Ascendant in Libra you are here to seek love and relationship – first with yourself, then with a partner who is an equal and enhancing person in your life. This is a substantial aspect of your life purpose; however, I would encourage you to look into the meaning of the 12th house where all of your Libra planets reside. In order to achieve the promised potential of true, loving partnership which is in your chart, it is imperative that you are willing to work in a conscious and committed way to understand yourself and your experiences and to find a deep sense of spiritual purpose which would be some aspect of your life in which you are guided by something selfless. The 12th house does exact its dues if we want to achieve our purpose and happiness. It is important to pursue this inner study, therapy, spiritual work as you move ever closer to your second Saturn return next year. The other key aspect of your purpose is purposeful work; a career which about which you are passionate, in which you find fulfillment and one that has real impact in the world in some way (Jupiter conjunct Pluto in the 10th house).

Transiting Saturn is completing its conjunction to your Ascendant in September which begins a new 30 year cycle, a restart/reset in every area of your life including relationship. While I don’t know when you fell for your Gemini, I suspect it may have been when your progressed Mars (ruler of your partnership house) conjoined your progressed Neptune (ruler of your 5th house of romance) which would mean that he was a lover but not your long term partner. Your instincts about him were likely correct. It is time to let that regret go, let you off the hook for not asking him more questions (a habit of a 1st house Saturn). There are some quite nice aspects between you and your Gemini which signaled the attraction and romance but not a marriage. Your LTR is a man who probably (you were not sure of his exact birth time) has his Moon in Libra which is compatible with your Libra nature and trines your Moon which is why this has been long term. His Cancer Sun/Mercury/Jupiter do square your Libra planets, his Mars squares your Mars, and his Saturn quincunxes your Moon. This comparison has some nice qualities but doesn’t seem very exciting. I would advise you to focus on your own growth and your second Saturn return decisions about your life, and then decide if you want to stay in this LTR. I think you will be able to meet someone new in a year or two if you determine that is what you truly desire.

I was born October 16, 1958. My life has not turned out the way I expected (surprise!) As a double Libra with Venus, Sun and North Node in Libra in the first house, love, relationships, beauty and harmony are the air I breathe. However, I have not had a truly successful, fulfilling and deeply intimate relationship in my life which is my deepest wish. I do not fall in love quickly or often. My marriage was very often stormy, angry and filled with resentment (Mars, ruler of the 7th, square Pluto). When I look back now, I would have done some things differently and would have behaved with more kindness and compassion toward both of us. But, perhaps, that was the lesson. We met, got engaged in 6 days (my 7th house cusp has Aries on it, progressed MC conjunct the natal Uranus, ruler of my 5th house, progressed Venus opposition natal Mars as well as square Pluto), married in 3 months and our first child was born 11 months later…we didn’t know each other well on a personality level but on a soul level I knew he was the one! We have been divorced for 7 years but have a nice relationship. My children and I are at a good stage for me to enter into a new relationship. My question is: can a new, successful, lasting relationship occur? If so, when and under what conditions? Does my natal chart show the possibility for a fulfilling partnership or am I doomed to wander the earth alone? What are the challenges? What are the opportunities? Am I focusing too much on the natal Mars – ruler of the 7th house square Pluto? Natal Mars also trines my Ascendant and inconjuncts my Scorpio stellium. I am a kind, intelligent and generally happy person with good friends and family…what’s the problem? (EC)

I am impressed by your brilliant, insightful descriptions of your own nature, what you have learned from your life experiences and what you seek in your future. I did not include all of your accurate and considered astrological analyses in the question since it was lengthy but you are very aware of where you are, what you need and the current timing. While you rightly see your quick marriage as motivated by Mars/Uranus, I would suggest you note the excitement and sometimes rosy view of your Sagittarius Moon when you are moved emotionally. True, your stormy first marriage does fit your 7th house Mars ruler squaring Pluto, but some of its initial illusion as well as soul recognition is described by your natal Mars quincunx Neptune/Jupiter. I do think you are focusing too much on your 7th house Mars rulers square to Pluto because you have quite a lot of insight and compassion regarding how you reacted and experienced that pattern in your first marriage and your second marriage would be ruled by your 9th house, not your 7th. We are changed by a first marriage bringing that experience into who we are, what we seek and how we respond to romance and marriage after that marriage. Some people learn from their first marriage and are capable of a successful second marriage, some do not learn much and recreate the same patterns yet they are older and impacted by their experience as we are by all experiences. Your 9th house is ruled by Mercury which is conjunct Neptune and Jupiter clearly indicating a second marriage (Jupiter) which will be a soulful, caring one (Neptune). Your Mercury sextiles Pluto rather than squaring, it indicating that you will not have another stormy, angry marriage. It is time for that harmonious relationship.

With transiting Uranus currently conjunct your Descendant, your assessment that this is a good period for a new marriage is correct. However, I suspect next year makes more sense due to Pluto’s square to your Descendant which continues until Thanksgiving. Your 7th house does indicate timing for marriage but not the actual experience of your  second marriage partner, which is described in the 9th house. With both your progressed Mars and Mercury retrograde you are likely to meet your partner in an unusual, unexpected manner and it could even be someone you have known in the past. Transiting Jupiter is now in Gemini where it has conjoined your natal Mars, is and will be trining your Libra planets, your progressed Moon will oppose your natal Mars in approximately seven months, transiting Saturn will conjunct your natal Mercury in October and transiting Neptune is trine your natal Mercury and square your natal Mars. You will soon be wandering the earth with your companion. Enjoy!

Filed under: Ask the Oracle

About Julia Bondi

Julia Bondi began her study of Astrology and Metaphysics in 1973. Julia has been an accomplished counseling astrologer, intuitive, teacher and writer for more
than 30 years. With degrees in clinical psychology and esoteric philosophy Julia brings insight, clarity and caring to her work. As a seeker, intuitive and teacher Julia draws her wisdom and dedication to spirituality from her moon rising on her ascendant, her 12th house stellium in Gemini and her Pisces midheaven. Julia can be contacted by email.

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The Moon is in its
Gibbous Phase

in the
Sign of Scorpio


Today's Lunar Aspects (Greenwich Mean Time)
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  • Moon opposite Mercury, 6:52am  Jun 2 2023
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Astrologers use a variety of house systems, or methods of dividing up the sky into twelve sections. I use the Porphyry house system; another popular house system is Placidus (this is the default on https://astro.com). If the chart I send you looks different from what you are used to seeing, then likely a system other than Porphyry was used. Whole signs, Equal House, Regiomantus, and Campanus are examples of other systems. If you find all of this confusing, do not worry. It is likely not critical to your report.

m  Conjunction:  Like peas in a pod, planets in conjunction tend to come from the same place. They act together, but it’s also hard to tell them apart. This aspect can increase talent, focus, and intensity (“two are better than one”). Or one planet can disappear as the other dominates. Their connection feels so natural, it’s easy to think everyone blends these planetary energies just as you do—but mostly, they don’t!.

p  Sextile:  Planets in sextile are compatible, though without any fireworks. This aspect doesn’t demand your attention. It quietly presents an opportunity. You can join these archetypal forces. Donna Cunningham has called this the “Oh, that!” aspect, because that’s generally what her clients say when she describes their benefits.  To get the most from sextiles you need to actively work them.

q  Square:  Squares are wild and wonderful—but difficult too. The power struggle between these planets was likely defined in your youth, when they were impossibly challenging. People are usually aware of their squares. They force the issues that make you to grow. And that’s their gift. They ensure you learn your lessons. When you rise to the occasion, they bless you with energy, action, and success.

r  Trine:  Michael Munkasey has dubbed this the “goddess aspect” because it’s so lovely. Identifying talents you may have perfected in a previous life, trines can bring you joy. There’s a nice flow of energy between planets in trine. They support and reinforce each another. But without any struggle, you might take them for granted—neither using nor developing their gifts. An unattended trine can sometimes trick you into negative behaviors.

t  Inconjunct/Quincunx:  Your quincunx planets are innately incompatible. Bringing them into harmonious expression requires constant adjustments. This can be stressful, also motivating. You’ve got to keep changing your process, opinions or attitude—which promotes highly creative solutions.

u  Opposition:  They say opposites attract—and planets in opposition are never far from each other, though they’re constantly bickering. You may be triggered into awareness of this aspect by other people who seem to resist or undermine you.  An opposition can make you feel uncertain, insecure, or discontent, until you can accept and see yourself in both energies. Typically people find it easier to identify with one side and project the other onto unsuspecting others in the outer world.

First House: Personality, physical body, beginnings. Includes the Ascendant and rules physical appearance, the image you project to others, your general outlook on life, how you start things; may describe your role in your family system, often guides your first impression of immediate environment.

Second House: Money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions, talents.

Third House: Communication, thoughts, language skills like writing and speaking, early schooling, siblings and neighbors, short trips, coming and going around town.

Fourth House: Your home, psychological foundations and roots, family, parents, domestic life, instinctive behavior, ancestry, your connection with the past, sense of security, domestic life, real estate. conditions at the end of life.

Fifth House: Children, creativity, romance; pleasure, entertainment, self-expression; all forms of “play”, speculation, gambling, and attitude towards taking risks; hobbies, attitude towards romance, lovers as opposed to partners, attitude towards having fun.

Sixth House: Work and job (as opposed to career), daily life, attitude towards service and coworkers, helpfulness, pets, attitude towards routine and organization, how you refine and perfect your skills.

Seventh House: Partnerships, one-to-one relationships, marriage, the first marriage, the “significant other”, business partnerships, competitors, open enemies, lawyers, mediators, counselors, contracts, negotiations, agreements. clients/the public.

Eighth House: Transformations and crisis, your ability to meet and rebound from crisis and change, sexuality; sex, death and rebirth, rituals and personal growth, your partner’s resources, addictions, psychology, other people’s money, taxes, divorce/alimony, inheritance.

Ninth House: Attitude toward expanding horizons, religious beliefs and personal philosophy, higher education, long-distance travel, morals, foreign languages and cultures, personal truths, publishing, commerce, advertising, your sense of adventure.

Tenth House: Career and profession, your contribution to society, social status, public reputation, material success, how you carve out a public identity for yourself; attitude toward authority figures, parents, caregivers, bosses, governments, attitude towards responsibility, desire for achievement.

Eleventh House: Friends, groups, organizations; hopes, wishes, aspirations, personal goals; your philanthropic attitude, concern for the collective, humanity; like tenth, can bring recognition and honors for fulfilling hopes and dreams.

Twelfth House: What’s hidden beneath the surface, karmic dustbin, limiting childhood/past-life messages, self-undoing, hidden enemies, hidden weaknesses, dreams, secret affairs, lost items, hospitals and prisons, hidden strengths, spiritual studies and soul growth.

A  Sun: Our vitality and magnetism; self-identity, ego.
Roles: The Self, the Hero, the Performer, the King.

B  Moon: Intuition, emotion, nurture.
Roles: The Mother, the High Priestess, the Child.

C  Mercury: Mind; physical dexterity and mental agility.
Roles: The Thinker, the Communicator, the Student, the Trickster, the Merchant, the Thief.

D  Venus: Our capacity for pleasure, receptivity, creativity, and social connection. Also indicates our relationships, self esteem, and financial abundance.
Roles: The Lover, the Seductress, the Artist.

E  Mars: Desire, initiative, anger.
Roles: The Protector, the Athlete, the Warrior.

F  Jupiter: Luck, opportunity, expansion, higher learning, religion.
Roles: The Scholar, the Gypsy, the Traveler, the Monk, the Professor.

G  Saturn: Hard work, commitment, focus, inadequacy, leadership, suffering, loss.
Roles: The Task Master, the Grim Reaper, the Wise Old Man, the Builder, the Cynic, the Boss.

H  Uranus: Change, breakthroughs, upsets, discoveries.
Roles: The Revolutionary, the Humanitarian, the Visionary, the Snob.

I  Neptune: Imagination, spirituality, idealism, addictions, deception, compassion.
Roles: The Artist, the Romantic, the Guru, the Addict, the Martyr, the Victim.

J  Pluto: Transformation, power, psychological dynamics, helplessness.
Roles: The Terrorist, the Detective, the Psychotherapist, the Dictator, shady people.

a  Aries: Pioneering, competitive, selfish, impatient, courageous, reckless, independent, dynamic, domineering, “Me first!”

b  Taurus: Patient, stable, lazy, dependable, practical, sensual, stubborn, artistic, possessive, greedy, gentle, loyal.

c  Gemini: Intelligent, curious, adaptable, quick-witted, restless, clever, scatterbrained, lacking follow-through.

d  Cancer: Nourishing, intuitive, protective, moody, sensitive, maternal, domestic, childish, cautious, creative.

e  Leo: Proud, dignified, vain, expressive, romantic, generous, childish, overbearing, self-assured, creative.

f  Virgo: Perfection-seeking, practical, methodical, petty, critical, studious, discriminating, cautious, never satisfied.

g  Libra: Charming, sociable, peace-loving, refined, diplomatic, artistic, indecisive, apathetic, easily deterred.

h  Scorpio: Passionate, secretive, penetrating, resourceful, suspicious, manipulative, jealous, sarcastic, intolerant, determined, aware.

i  Sagittarius: Freedom-loving, philosophical, optimistic, enthusiastic, careless, impatient, talkative, a know-it-all, broadminded, athletic, honest.

j  Capricorn: Serious, responsible, practical, hardworking, stubborn, brooding, inhibited, status-conscious, domineering, unforgiving.

k  Aquarius: Progressive, individualistic, unpredictable, cold, intellectual, artistic, eccentric, shy, impersonal, scientific.

l  Pisces: Compassionate, intuitive, ungrounded, romantic, impractical, self-sacrificing, seductive, musical, artistic.