Several times over the past few weeks, friends and clients, while talking about their experiences with both making judgments on others, or being unfairly judged, have asked me a leading question, “I bet you have been judged a lot, being in the public eye?” Before my first book was published, I had a channeled reading with one of my teachers who said: Expectations come with this new book and role. Many new people will love and elevate you, and there will be people whom you will disappoint. He was right.
Show me a Libra Rising who wants to disappoint others and I’ll show you an empty room. Yet, it’s true; many have connected with me, but I’ve let others down, too. About my books, I’ve been told that Karmic Dates, is nothing original, no better than what’s found on the web; that A Love Alchemist’s Notebook is too “Chicken Soup For The Soul” (is this a bad thing?). I’ve been told that Venus Signs, because it was written from and for a woman’s perspective, “offers little more than entertainment value”.
If you are committed to being vulnerable and real, there is no armor strong enough to protect you from the sting of judgment. People judge. Some more than others, but people judge. You can’t please everyone. You can only please your self. Because art wouldn’t be created if we spent our time worrying about what others will think or say. Because I don’t want to be the kind of writer or person who is so afraid of owning a perspective that her self-expression is robotic, and instead of producing a work of art, poetry, produces an encyclopedia of knowledge that, while exhaustive in its ability to name all the permutations and possibilities to account for everyone’s perspective who reads it, often reads more like a textbook and fails to touch the human heart. That kind of writing doesn’t turn me on. That kind of writing is not what comes out. It isn’t me.
I have been judged for what I have said, for what I have not said and, like many, I’ve been unjustly judged. Honestly, when my friend asked about being judged, my mind went to an incident I experienced last weekend, at a hotel. A mix of about twenty adults and teenaged kids, who were having a dance party late at night in the hotel lobby, decided to harass me for no apparent reason, as I played with my iPhone from the balcony above. The ringleaders were adults, which surprised me (I later learned, from the clerk, they thought I had complained about them being too noisy; I hadn’t, though they were). I was shocked at the example the adults were teaching kids; essentially, to bully strangers. I actually wondered if I was secretly being filmed on a reality show, because I am so rarely exposed to nasty people anymore that I could only associate them with t.v.
This eclipse falls on my Libra-Pluto, Aries-Mars, Cancer-Sun, Capricorn-North-Node cardinal cross, so I got to revisit the times I’ve bullied, picked on, harassed, violated. I got to revisit all the times I’d been called “gringa”, “white skinny bitch” and “Ethiopian” in junior high; and the time I was attacked in an empty stairwell. I got to revisit times I’ve felt grossly, unjustly misunderstood- to realize how futile it is to attempt to be understood. Heck, I don’t entirely understand me, why I have this particular lesson, only that I am learning, one experience at a time, the more I: refuse to get pulled down by negative behavior, continue to stand in my core value of kindness while deciding to not be a victim and stand up for myself… the more I honor my self. Frankly, it feels good to be at this stage of maturity, where I can so clearly see how much I’ve grown
And that’s why I give gratitude to this eclipse. Eclipses bring up old patterns, to show us how far we’ve come and just how ready we are to grow, to move ten steps ahead and close out the pattern, once and for all. As I’ve observed my clients face similar fast and furious eclipse growth lessons, they’ve been so literal it’s uncanny. One client’s latest love interest, instead of leading with his strengths (the typical way people express interest in having a relationship with us), basically handed her a resume of all the reasons, and warnings, about why she should not date him. Still, for her, breaking old patterns isn’t easy. It isn’t easy for any of us. But right now we can and should reach, because the stronger the evidence we are being given, the more ready we are to end this pattern. As Jimmy Cliff once sang, the harder they come, the harder they fall.
At this Libra Full Moon Lunar Eclipse, our evolution is tied into the lives of others. Who are your teachers right now? What are they showing you about your self? What lesson are you finally ready to graduate? Just because something is happening, again, and looks eerily similar to the past, doesn’t mean that it is a repeat performance, that we’re going down the cosmic toilet bowl, doomed to repeat flush forever. We have a choice: we can get pulled back into the undertow, or we can stand at the helm of our little boat we call our life and make a new choice. From a spiritual perspective, everyone is here to help you grow. Maybe that means experiencing judgment so you can realise only you have the power to give your self away. Maybe others are showing you bad behavior so you can see how good you’ve gotten at honoring you. Or maybe it’s about severing an unhealthy relationship and committing to healthy partnering. Maybe you are learning the Libran values of civility, kindness, empathy, because your behavior is being perceived by others as rude, unkind, tactless or self-absorbed. Whatever “it” is, your current growth path, the Cosmos have been giving you oodles of obvious clues, lately.
As we move into an Aries Sun month, let’s each take confidence in our birthright to unapologetically shine from our center and trust what comes out as true for us. It takes courage to take a stand, whether voicing your political beliefs, addressing injustice, or writing a book from a unique perspective. It takes courage to put your voice and choices out there for the world to see, to stand in your truth, to make yourself vulnerable to judgment. It takes courage to turn corners on an old pattern. You can do this. Just stand in your center, friends, make choices from your deepest, truest values. Because at day’s end, when you rest your head on your pillow, what other people did or said doesn’t matter. What matters most is how you feel about you.
Dear Jessica,
I am of the Libra generation aswell, 1981. I have been wrestling with all this PowerOver versus PowerfromWithin and have had pretty intense realizations… Energetically and in Conciousness. What I would like to share with you All is this: the energy of power like we know it in relationships of all kinds seem to come from third chakra awareness, that being Ego Conciousness. There sits self-worth, self-limits, self-awareness and the rest of the small SELF… we all need healthy Ego, aka, being able to be assertive without dominating or being victim/submisive/slave archetype.
Now… after much inner battle, and many experiences, lately, I started to realize another kind of Power, a Power coming from the Heart center, 4D chakra. There I felt, different, something to uncover within… like the Wisdom from the Heart. And there I felt much Beauty and Harmony… Pure Love from Within… very different!! And since we have all those energetic centers, different archetypes in our conciousness that they evoke, I just keep on redefining power dynamics.. There are Higher realms of experience, that I know now.. and I am not talking about the Heart as the center of emtions, that being 2d chakra awareness, I am talking about the Heart being a Higher center of perception and experience when awakened in us.
Tough lessons though..eclipses… I really resonate with the part of old patterns repeating, old power struggles…
Loved the Post!!! Thank you!!
Hi Yaiza,
We are on the same page. The consciousness that will truly change old power paradigms we are cycling through collectively, personally, is the heart. Thanks for sharing. <3 Jessica
Wow….can’t tell you how much I needed to read this. My natal moon is in Libra (conjunct Neptune in fifth house) and this particular moon has been stirring up so much for me. As of tonight, I feel a fullness of spirit and gratitude that has been eluding me for quite a while. Thank you Jessica! Blessings, Fran
Thank you, Jessica. This spoke to me so profoundly. I’m an Aries Sun with Libra rising and about to take over a business, and, as you said, it will take courage to put my voice and choices out there and to “make myself vulnerable to judgment.” It really helped me think about how I want my business and life to reflect the best of both Aries and Libra, which is truly a reflection of my highest self. Thank you for writing so beautifully from your heart and with vulnerability.
Thank you Jessica!
This is reminiscent of Brene Brown’s work, Daring Greatly.
Thanks, Ja.
I’ve been exposed a little to Brene but haven’t read the book.
Libra Moon blessings to you. <3 Jessica
thank you, jessica. I am a libra sun (just one planet in my chart), and generally behave libra-ish effortlessly (a cancer asc and 4 planets in virgo definitely help in maintaining the “good girl” behaviour), but in the last few weeks I am being called on embodying my aries mc and defending myself against a huge prevarication in my precarious job. thank you for inspiring me to keep up the fight for my rights: as you say, I’m finding that it’s very true that at the end of the day you cannot please everyone, that you will be criticized/accused/misunderstood even if you do the right thing and that you will pass off as selfish when actually it’s other people who are being selfish at your own expenses.
this eclipse falls 3° away from my mc, so I was prepared to something happening up there, yet I really needed to read this today.
<3
isabella
What a victory, Isabella! Sounds like you responded the call of your chart’s promise “to stand up for my self in career matters” quite well. xx, Jessica
let’s hope so 🙂 … negotiations are still under way (something at which I’m really, really bad at), but yes, it feels like a victory at the tender age of 50 and a half 😀 . anyway I’m giving myself a pat on the shoulder for accepting that I am right, and not simply reacting in self-defense to somebody else mistreating me (lots of water in my chart).
thank you for your reply, jessica, and ciao from italy 🙂
Yes , I think this is a giant lesson in self worth for if we truly have it who can
attack us. As a Sun Libra I can empathise with wanting to make the world a better
and more beautiful place and never ceasing to be amazed what this can trigger in others.
People can be fearful and judgemental as a knee jerk reaction and the Libra in me says
to them please try to have kinder standards.
We are all works in progress but you are so right about being our authentic selves.
I love the human aspect of your work Jessica and the notion of you living in a pink cottage with your chickens or chicken like 10 green bottles hanging on the wall as the kids song goes.
Thanks, Stella <3 Self worth, yes, but with layers of complexity. This lesson was also about being an empath on a warrior's heart path. How to respond to nastiness in the world without creating more of the same? – Something that is timely, considering the political landscape right now (and, as the saying goes: you can't reason with crazy). As this lunation falls on my Pluto, I've been exploring the idea that we've been misled about power: We tend to think those who take, abuse, game the system and scream the loudest have the power because that's what the world shows us. Of course these perpetrators are also in pain, albeit unconsciously. But those who love, show compassion, and truthfully acknowledge the depth of everyone's pain have the power to dismantle negativity through the sheer energetics of doing so. I recently had an experience where what would have once been a painful jab rolled right off of me (and likely stopped their emotional tirade) because I could so clearly see the others' pain. That was pretty profound. The heart has so much power to change things!
Libra Moon love from the chickens (no bottles yet 😉 and the Pink House. xx Jessica