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Aquarius Full Moon: The Call of Truth

By Jessica Shepherd

Last December I did something bold, and something absolutely terrifying. I told my husband I wanted to move. Out of state. Away from California, our home for twenty years.

Actually, I had been telling him I wanted to move for months, but I wasn’t being received. He didn’t want to move. We’d lose his retirement benefits. Not the right time. Maybe in about five years. And the conversation was shelved.

But I didn’t have five years. I was desperately unhappy. Nothing felt good or right here, anymore, for me. I had changed, and I needed my environment to support me. I felt like a tomato plant trying to grow in an inhospitable, parched and dry, desert. I didn’t even know where we’d move to, yet…I hadn’t gotten that far. Heck, I didn’t know what was possible for us. We needed to explore options and places, together.

Yet I wasn’t getting through. It wasn’t what I was saying but how I was saying it. I had been complaining, not speaking as the Goddess. So I took a deep breath from the bottom of my vagina and said “We need to move by the end of 2017.” I said that if he didn’t want to move, because that was the message he had been giving me, then we would have to figure out a part-time living situation for me. Then I was silent. It was a bold move. And it terrified me, because all of my childhood and female programming flooded my system, reminding me that, historically, if I asserted, no, insisted on my True Self needs, I wouldn’t survive that fallout. That my very survival depended on the approval of the male figure in my world– and to defer and back down, right NOW.

Yet I was no longer a child, dependent on another for survival. I was a grown-ass woman capable of making her own decisions and I needed to be heard.

I knew I wouldn’t survive here for another 5 years. I knew we wouldn’t survive.

I suddenly became terrified, that our marriage wouldn’t survive my insistent self-assertion.

(I have a feeling that every woman knows what this feels like.)

Oh God, he might leave me. That thought hadn’t occurred to me before this moment, but as I was standing there it surely did. And in that moment, I could clearly see how by not taking this huge risk, I’d be betraying myself.

I set a big wheel in motion that day, though now its become way more fun and interesting. We are actively seeking new places to live. It’s now become apparent that a relocation wasn’t just for me, but for us, as all the reasons why he also needs to leave unfolded in the months following. He hadn’t been able to see it then. This taught me a great lesson: When one half of a committed couple hears the call of Truth, it benefits all. If your Divine Self gently calls, and then more insistently bangs on your door, advising you that it’s time to make a bold and radical move, if you’re both committed to being together for the long haul, it will benefit everyone. Without exception.

It can only be right to follow the call of The Truth, which is another thing I learned:

The Truth is never MY Truth- that would make it of the Ego. The Truth is The Truth. People tend to say “I’m standing in MY Truth and it’s xyz…” which makes my truth sound like it’s different from yours, which sets up a polarity that is basically an invitation for someone to argue with you. Nope. The Truth is The Truth is The Truth. You don’t qualify “the sky is blue”, with, “well, its blue… for me?” The Truth is what is happening, what is. The Truth was the simple fact we needed to move. Period (not question mark).

When I took that deep breath, I stood in The Truth. Not my Truth, THE TRUTH.

In the months ensuing, working through insecurities, questions, fears about the move, I’ve had many opportunities to keep standing in The Truth. Which, as I discovered, took pressure off my Ego from constantly having to defend itself.  It was such a huge relief to let The Truth have my back. Nope, not going there, not convincing, not reassuring, arguing, cajoling, questioning or backing down. I’m standing in The Truth now. 

So.

At this Full Moon, what Truth is ready to make itself known, for you?

Where can you give your Ego a rest from trying to be more convincing, articulate, clear for another in your communication, and instead of taking a defensive posture about what you want, step boldly into THE TRUTH?

How are you holding your self back?

Are you ready to get out of your own way?

Aquarius Full Moon is about leaving behind the shackles of old conditioning keeping us from a delicious, orgiastic freedom that can only arrive through being authentic and true to you. Often that freedom is achieved by saying yes when you mean yes, and no when you mean no (waffling, being a pushover, indecisive will harsh your authenticity/freedom mellow). Other times we are unwitting participants in ingrained, conditioned childhood patterns – holdovers from long ago. We want to say yes or no, to make a change… but that would mean we’d have to stop catering to someone else’s insecurities. Or, we want to follow the call of Truth…but to place our Divine Self’s knowing above all else, and be willing to risk everything? Whoa, what self-love, what courage, what compassion.

This is an eclipse, which is like an Aquarius Full Moon, with exclamation marks. Eclipses are game-changers, wild cards that tend to move us ten paces forward on an issue. They can quicken internal drives that accelerate our evolution. With eclipses, we have an ability to see patterns, and change them. With Aquarius (or any Uranus transit), we are ready to break free from unhealthy habits into greater authenticity, and this may mean disappointing another’s version of reality, shaking up their expectations, initially surprising or shocking them.

But the beautiful thing about THE TRUTH… it will set you free. I experienced this big time, that day. The old pattern of deference, poof!, gone. The old childhood fear that my needs and desires wouldn’t be taken seriously, that I didn’t matter? I moved at least a hundred paces ahead on that one. I continue to experience uplifting whooshes of freedom in big and small ways, from being honest with myself about a social obligation being out of alignment for me, to an energy that’s affecting me, which, once honestly acknowledged, clears.

THE TRUTH will set you free. Can you let this in, deeply? Not just understanding this intellectually, but knowing and experiencing it in your body? In the coming days, allow THE TRUTH to surround, guide, hold and protect you, embracing you like a mother’s warm arms. An Aquarian mother, maybe -necessarily detached from what other people think or feel, whose true warmth is her sparkling authenticity, and whose love is Divine liberation. She’s a palpable Goddess energy field, THE TRUTH, as real and clear as the blue sky you and I share.

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About Jessica Shepherd

Jessica Shepherd is a writer, astrologer and health coach who has studied and practiced modern astrology since 1992. She is the author of A Love Alchemist’s Notebook: Magical Secrets For Drawing Your True Love Into Your Life (Llewellyn, 2010) and the books Venus Signs: Discover Your Erotic Gifts and Secret Desires Through Astrology
(Llewellyn, 2015) and Karmic Dates and Momentary Mates: The Astrology of the Fifth House (Moonkissd, 2014). In 2018, after living in California for twenty years, she relocated to Honolulu, Hawaii with her husband, dog, and cat. Find out more about Jessica at Moonkissd (www.moonkissd.com).

Comments

  1. Aquarius Likes You says

    Dec 18, 2017 at 7:03 am

    i love your blog and always like new things coming up from it.

    Reply
  2. Elaine Fiddes says

    Aug 5, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    This is exactly my Truth having taken a leap of faith to leave my husband and move out the journey started in 2016 and came to fruition when I found my new place in February 2017. As time goes by the shackles of the past restraints are falling away and freedom is my reality every day.
    Reading this article I felt exactly as you stated and wanted to thank you for putting these feelings into words for our Truth is our reality.

    Love and light.

    Reply

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The Moon is in its
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in the
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Today's Lunar Aspects (Greenwich Mean Time)
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Astrologers use a variety of house systems, or methods of dividing up the sky into twelve sections. I use the Porphyry house system; another popular house system is Placidus (this is the default on https://astro.com). If the chart I send you looks different from what you are used to seeing, then likely a system other than Porphyry was used. Whole signs, Equal House, Regiomantus, and Campanus are examples of other systems. If you find all of this confusing, do not worry. It is likely not critical to your report.

m  Conjunction:  Like peas in a pod, planets in conjunction tend to come from the same place. They act together, but it’s also hard to tell them apart. This aspect can increase talent, focus, and intensity (“two are better than one”). Or one planet can disappear as the other dominates. Their connection feels so natural, it’s easy to think everyone blends these planetary energies just as you do—but mostly, they don’t!.

p  Sextile:  Planets in sextile are compatible, though without any fireworks. This aspect doesn’t demand your attention. It quietly presents an opportunity. You can join these archetypal forces. Donna Cunningham has called this the “Oh, that!” aspect, because that’s generally what her clients say when she describes their benefits.  To get the most from sextiles you need to actively work them.

q  Square:  Squares are wild and wonderful—but difficult too. The power struggle between these planets was likely defined in your youth, when they were impossibly challenging. People are usually aware of their squares. They force the issues that make you to grow. And that’s their gift. They ensure you learn your lessons. When you rise to the occasion, they bless you with energy, action, and success.

r  Trine:  Michael Munkasey has dubbed this the “goddess aspect” because it’s so lovely. Identifying talents you may have perfected in a previous life, trines can bring you joy. There’s a nice flow of energy between planets in trine. They support and reinforce each another. But without any struggle, you might take them for granted—neither using nor developing their gifts. An unattended trine can sometimes trick you into negative behaviors.

t  Inconjunct/Quincunx:  Your quincunx planets are innately incompatible. Bringing them into harmonious expression requires constant adjustments. This can be stressful, also motivating. You’ve got to keep changing your process, opinions or attitude—which promotes highly creative solutions.

u  Opposition:  They say opposites attract—and planets in opposition are never far from each other, though they’re constantly bickering. You may be triggered into awareness of this aspect by other people who seem to resist or undermine you.  An opposition can make you feel uncertain, insecure, or discontent, until you can accept and see yourself in both energies. Typically people find it easier to identify with one side and project the other onto unsuspecting others in the outer world.

First House: Personality, physical body, beginnings. Includes the Ascendant and rules physical appearance, the image you project to others, your general outlook on life, how you start things; may describe your role in your family system, often guides your first impression of immediate environment.

Second House: Money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions, talents.

Third House: Communication, thoughts, language skills like writing and speaking, early schooling, siblings and neighbors, short trips, coming and going around town.

Fourth House: Your home, psychological foundations and roots, family, parents, domestic life, instinctive behavior, ancestry, your connection with the past, sense of security, domestic life, real estate. conditions at the end of life.

Fifth House: Children, creativity, romance; pleasure, entertainment, self-expression; all forms of “play”, speculation, gambling, and attitude towards taking risks; hobbies, attitude towards romance, lovers as opposed to partners, attitude towards having fun.

Sixth House: Work and job (as opposed to career), daily life, attitude towards service and coworkers, helpfulness, pets, attitude towards routine and organization, how you refine and perfect your skills.

Seventh House: Partnerships, one-to-one relationships, marriage, the first marriage, the “significant other”, business partnerships, competitors, open enemies, lawyers, mediators, counselors, contracts, negotiations, agreements. clients/the public.

Eighth House: Transformations and crisis, your ability to meet and rebound from crisis and change, sexuality; sex, death and rebirth, rituals and personal growth, your partner’s resources, addictions, psychology, other people’s money, taxes, divorce/alimony, inheritance.

Ninth House: Attitude toward expanding horizons, religious beliefs and personal philosophy, higher education, long-distance travel, morals, foreign languages and cultures, personal truths, publishing, commerce, advertising, your sense of adventure.

Tenth House: Career and profession, your contribution to society, social status, public reputation, material success, how you carve out a public identity for yourself; attitude toward authority figures, parents, caregivers, bosses, governments, attitude towards responsibility, desire for achievement.

Eleventh House: Friends, groups, organizations; hopes, wishes, aspirations, personal goals; your philanthropic attitude, concern for the collective, humanity; like tenth, can bring recognition and honors for fulfilling hopes and dreams.

Twelfth House: What’s hidden beneath the surface, karmic dustbin, limiting childhood/past-life messages, self-undoing, hidden enemies, hidden weaknesses, dreams, secret affairs, lost items, hospitals and prisons, hidden strengths, spiritual studies and soul growth.

A  Sun: Our vitality and magnetism; self-identity, ego.
Roles: The Self, the Hero, the Performer, the King.

B  Moon: Intuition, emotion, nurture.
Roles: The Mother, the High Priestess, the Child.

C  Mercury: Mind; physical dexterity and mental agility.
Roles: The Thinker, the Communicator, the Student, the Trickster, the Merchant, the Thief.

D  Venus: Our capacity for pleasure, receptivity, creativity, and social connection. Also indicates our relationships, self esteem, and financial abundance.
Roles: The Lover, the Seductress, the Artist.

E  Mars: Desire, initiative, anger.
Roles: The Protector, the Athlete, the Warrior.

F  Jupiter: Luck, opportunity, expansion, higher learning, religion.
Roles: The Scholar, the Gypsy, the Traveler, the Monk, the Professor.

G  Saturn: Hard work, commitment, focus, inadequacy, leadership, suffering, loss.
Roles: The Task Master, the Grim Reaper, the Wise Old Man, the Builder, the Cynic, the Boss.

H  Uranus: Change, breakthroughs, upsets, discoveries.
Roles: The Revolutionary, the Humanitarian, the Visionary, the Snob.

I  Neptune: Imagination, spirituality, idealism, addictions, deception, compassion.
Roles: The Artist, the Romantic, the Guru, the Addict, the Martyr, the Victim.

J  Pluto: Transformation, power, psychological dynamics, helplessness.
Roles: The Terrorist, the Detective, the Psychotherapist, the Dictator, shady people.

a  Aries: Pioneering, competitive, selfish, impatient, courageous, reckless, independent, dynamic, domineering, “Me first!”

b  Taurus: Patient, stable, lazy, dependable, practical, sensual, stubborn, artistic, possessive, greedy, gentle, loyal.

c  Gemini: Intelligent, curious, adaptable, quick-witted, restless, clever, scatterbrained, lacking follow-through.

d  Cancer: Nourishing, intuitive, protective, moody, sensitive, maternal, domestic, childish, cautious, creative.

e  Leo: Proud, dignified, vain, expressive, romantic, generous, childish, overbearing, self-assured, creative.

f  Virgo: Perfection-seeking, practical, methodical, petty, critical, studious, discriminating, cautious, never satisfied.

g  Libra: Charming, sociable, peace-loving, refined, diplomatic, artistic, indecisive, apathetic, easily deterred.

h  Scorpio: Passionate, secretive, penetrating, resourceful, suspicious, manipulative, jealous, sarcastic, intolerant, determined, aware.

i  Sagittarius: Freedom-loving, philosophical, optimistic, enthusiastic, careless, impatient, talkative, a know-it-all, broadminded, athletic, honest.

j  Capricorn: Serious, responsible, practical, hardworking, stubborn, brooding, inhibited, status-conscious, domineering, unforgiving.

k  Aquarius: Progressive, individualistic, unpredictable, cold, intellectual, artistic, eccentric, shy, impersonal, scientific.

l  Pisces: Compassionate, intuitive, ungrounded, romantic, impractical, self-sacrificing, seductive, musical, artistic.