We’re selling our 85 year old house, moving from California to Hawaii in January. There’s a lot to coordinate, and with many details, inspections, timing issues, repairs, and unwanted discoveries (like a 60k sewer fix) it is too easy to get caught up in my mind, into anxiety and worry, to hold the perspective of “What if…this doesn’t work out?” Not a creative mindset.
So when my teacher told me that I was not supporting the energy of “this is happening” but rather a negative ego vibration, I wasn’t surprised. I wasn’t a total basket case–yet, but I wasn’t furthering my own cause either. I knew better; I had forgotten. I had forgotten to use my spiritual tools, the ones that I can pull out for the really important stuff. Like selling the house. Or manifesting a move to Hawaii. Or attracting a soul mate.
Flashback to 2007: When I wrote a lengthy book on manifestation – on moving seemingly impossible obstacles, on creating and attracting from the spiritual plane. I know this stuff. Yet I have a second house Neptune. We, who have planets in the second house of “I have,” can claim the skills, tools, gifts of that planet, but we also have a tendency to underestimate them.
My teacher instructed me to spend some time marinating in the Faith piece of my move. As in: “This is happening, this is going to get done, the contractor will show up, the work will get done.” All is being Divinely Orchestrated (sounding familiar to the mantra I once used to great success, “My True Love comes to me in Divine Timing”). Then, to take it a step further, to own the powerfully creative aspect of myself and invite that into the move.
So that is what I did. I woke up on Monday morning with a list of what my Ego perceived as immovable problematic objects: the dryer I ordered 7 days ago and has been awol ever since, the plumber I can’t get to return my calls, the insurance adjuster who hadn’t yet responded to our claim, the tree guy who endlessly will “call me back tomorrow.” I asked Spirit to surround all aspects of our move in Ease and Grace. I affirmed that yes, we are moving, and it is all happening, things are getting done.
The big shift occurred when I actually felt my energy body shift into peace and ease–that’s when the phone calls and emails started. After months of delays, the tree guy set a date for our tree trimming. The insurance agent sent me a friendly email saying they’d proceed with our claim. Because they’d failed to deliver on a previous order, I engaged the creative aspect of myself and asked, Is this the right company for us? I heard: wait. That day, not one, but two, people called me to confirm the delivery of our dryer this week.
All of this, my Ego had regarded as an uphill battle, filled with struggle and delays. All of this was accomplished in ease and grace, in just one morning.
Then, in one final stroke of grace, that afternoon, as my realtor sat in my living room and we discussed the timing of putting the house on the market, she said, “I have an idea. You’re an astrologer, why don’t you use your tools to tell us the right time to sell?” Now, as an astrologer I am so used to having my tools marginalized by the mainstream that I rarely bring them up outside the consult room, and here was my realtor open and eager for me to choose a date to go on the market. If this wasn’t a reminder to use my spiritual tools, to stop underestimating and “forgetting” my spiritual toolkit, I don’t know what it was.
Mind you, my realtor also happens to call herself by the name of Spirit. This was no accident either; I had a dream about her the night before I saw her picture and name on an online site. (I love declaring, This is happening. Spirit is my agent! It has a delightful ring to it.)
I don’t always work it this way. Obviously. Most of the time I don’t. Yet Mercury retrograde is designed to go over ground we’ve already covered, and in the sign of higher learning, Sagittarius, being reminded of the feathers in our wisdom cap we already have — but have forgotten through neglect, disuse or busyness and distraction — is part of the larger lesson.
Gemini Full Moon can fill minds and media with too much chatter and opinion, yet Mercury has now turned retrograde (12/3-12/22), creating the sensation of our consciousness slowing down as the world moves quickly by. Meanwhile, Neptune in Pisces sits in an exact t-square to this lunation. This is a perfect storm of spiritual opportunity to catch our awareness mid-stream, to observe how we are deluding or deceiving our self through wrong stories, false perceptions. Astrologer Steven Forrest calls this Neptunian process “cleaning the windows”. By becoming aware of what’s obscuring our windows (wrong perceptions), we discover clarity, truth, oneness. Then we can co-create a more satisfying reality.
Feel into the energy of this Full Moon. Notice where your attention, and intention, is. Are you magnifying a “problem” by aligning your energy with negative stories, and struggle? Or are you intentionally choosing to align with the energy of Oneness, flow and co-creativity? I was aligning with the negative story of resistance, not flow, so that is what I experienced. But once I aligned with grace, grace happened.
We have no proof that getting out of our heads — letting go of the habit of push, struggle and inner conflict — will bring us exactly what we most want. Speaking from my second house Neptune, moving out of the belief that the Ego must do and solve it all, and into the energy of Neptune- of ease, grace and co-creation- is a risky act of faith in and of itself. We have no proof that trusting in a simple, clear, intention is enough. Yet that is the definition of faith. Sometimes all we have to go on is faith itself, and that is enough.
Some practices we have to keep returning to over and over. This morning I woke up and felt the world of moving details crash in on me again. The street we live on has been under post rainy season mud-slide repair all year, and what we thought was finally ending, isn’t quite done yet. Of course. As I watched my mind start to want to go into the negative story, there was only one thing to intend: I Am Ease and Grace —even if I don’t feel it right now.
Within minutes, as I began to embody that knowing, I felt better, calmer, at peace. And then, like Divine clockwork, life began to flow around me, to effortlessly orchestrate itself in ease.
Thanks you Jessica. I needed to be reminded of it.
Laying in bed reading this before my full moon meditation. Thank you
Laura Fellows says
I was thinking just the other day about the death of the ego–wondering what that meant, exactly. I have been tired, and knee-deep in self-destruction. “I am Grace and Ease.” Whatta concept!