Menu
  • Home
        • Gemini Full Moon:  Boldly Go

          Gemini Full Moon: Boldly Go

          There are many solutions to whatever we face, whether personally or globally, and this bright, inquisitive Full Moon can help …Read More »
        • Gemini Full Moon: Tell Your Story

          Gemini Full Moon: Tell Your Story

          Writing is a big part of my job now, and I write every day. But unlike other tasks that become …Read More »
        • Menopause and the Moon

          Menopause and the Moon

          All earth beings are designed to live in monthly rhythm, but women’s bodies are more uniquely attuned to this cycle. …Read More »
    • Close
  • Free Astrology
    Chart
  • Your Birth
    Moon Phase
  • Dana’s Moon
    Workshop
  • The Astrology
    of Bliss
  • Astrology
    Reports
  • Sessions
    with Dana
          • Astrology Readings With Dana

            Astrology Readings With Dana

            I believe in life, in the archetypes, and the capacity of people to write better and better stories for themselves. …Read More »
          • Astrology Mentoring

            Astrology Mentoring

            Are you an astrology student who’d like to turn pro? Hoping to read charts with greater insight and accuracy? Desiring a boost in confidence? …Read More »
          • Boundaries & Emotional Mastery Sessions

            Boundaries & Emotional Mastery Sessions

            From the beginning, my 12th House Moon has attracted plenty of likeminded spirits I call “energy sensitives,” whose intuitively gifted natures benefit …Read More »
    • Close
  • Books
    • [Widget Area]
          • Dana's eBooks

            Dana's eBooks

            Dana’s writing… brings the meaning of the planets to life like no other writer in this field. She’s the Meryl Streep of astrological writers: …” Jeff Jawer, The Mountain Astrologer …Read More »
          • Free eBooks

            Free eBooks

            “It took me years to learn each of these simple principles, and with each one, my Moon practice deepened. May they do the same for you!” …Read More »
          • Books We Love

            Books We Love

            Looking for a good read? Mooncircles authors share a few of the great books on their shelves. Read More »
    • Close
  • Store

Mooncircles

Moon Astrology

Current Moon Ritual
  • Contact
  • Subscribe
  • View Cart
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
Aug42017

When Moon Meets Moon

By Dana Gerhardt

When two people have compatible Moons (or flowing aspects between one’s Moon and another’s planets), astrologers say that this will be a comfortable relationship, with plenty of shared sympathies and intuitive understanding. The Moon describes what we want from family life and the way we like to be at home. Venus and Mars charge our relationships with passion. But for day-to-day compatibility—whether we like to hang up our clothes or leave them in scattered piles on the floor—this is the province of the Moon. When Moons are compatible, people say things like “I’ve always felt so at home with Bob” or “The minute I met Janine, it’s like we’d known each other forever.”

If only the relationship stayed that way! The longer we’re together, the more time we have to discover each Moon’s secret hallways and trapdoors, so that what once was familiar and attractive can become irritating and strange. I’ve had three relationships with men whose charts had a common lunar signature. One had a Virgo Moon, the others 6th house Moons. I have a Virgo Ascendant; the attraction is understandable. A man will often seek a woman to embody the traits of his inner Moon. My men initially loved the way I did Virgo, smart and organized, health-conscious, analytical, and self-possessed. What a miracle it was to realize we agreed on everything. We were so alike!

But in each relationship, it wasn’t long before I found myself being accused of bad behavior. They said I was judgmental, picky, and unsupportive, all shadow Virgo traits. In my twenties, with my first husband, this was probably a fair complaint. I was only my Ascendant then. During the ten years of my next relationship, with the help of a mountain of books and a couple of therapists, I worked earnestly to whittle this mask away. I learned that men didn’t like to be criticized (Oh!). I developed new tolerance and patience. I dialed up the fun of my Leo Moon and reveled in the adventurousness of my Sagittarius Sun. When I entered the next relationship I was thrilled to finally be a different woman. But four months into our love affair, on one dark and very long night, I heard those familiar words: “I think you’re judgmental, critical and negating.” I was floored.

A friend of mine has a saying: “If ten men say you’re drunk, lay down.” Perhaps, despite the prior ten years of inner and outer work, I was still nothing more than my critical Virgo Ascendant. But strangely, each time this accusation was hurled, I felt that my critical, judgmental lover was negating me!   So who was doing the Virgo really? Was it their Moon–or my Ascendant?  And why did I keep attracting men with this sensitivity?

After two decades of working with clients and their Moons, I’ve learned that such questions are not easily answered.  But here’s a good starting point:  When your Moon’s reflective light enters a relationship, expect to find yourself walking through a house of mirrors.

excerpted from my Living Planets eBook

Filed under: Blog, Emotional Mastery

About Dana Gerhardt

A popular columnist with The Mountain Astrologer since 1991, Dana Gerhardt is an internationally respected astrologer. She has lectured extensively and written for astrology publications on several continents. Her ongoing passions are the moon and living the intuitive life. Dana worked for many years in the corporate sector, where she observed the undeniable influence of natural cycles. She graduated Phi Beta Kappa, Magna Cum Laude from Occidental College in Los Angeles and did graduate work in literature at Columbia University and CSULA. Dana can be contacted by email.

Comments

  1. Jane says

    Aug 14, 2017 at 11:34 pm

    Hello, dear Dana! I found my way to your blog this evening, and before slipping under the blankets on this refreshingly cool night, I want to send word that I thoroughly enjoyed this writing. I think I’ve shared with you before that my last three partnerships were with men with the opposite Nodes as mine, this time, I’m staying in it for the long haul to face the lessons. Thank you for sharing your gift of astrology and writing!

    Reply
    • Dana Gerhardt says

      Aug 16, 2017 at 3:43 pm

      I think I’d trade for the reverse nodes … my last three partnerships had my Moon conjunct my partner’s South Node. A deep but not particularly idyllic connection!

      Reply
  2. Dove says

    Aug 7, 2017 at 7:24 pm

    The man I’m in love with is a Pisces Sun, Libra Ascendant, and Gemini Moon. I’m a Sag Sun, and Virgo Moon & Ascendant… likely only to be a passionate short term relationship, you think?
    (on top of that we have a double whammy Venus-Mars Aqua/Sco & Sco/Aqua -again, lots of passion but the incompatibleness of our Venuses & Mars are likely to cause it to be short term?)

    Not that I’m complaining… it just seems best to know what to expect.

    Reply
    • Dana Gerhardt says

      Aug 8, 2017 at 2:48 pm

      One thing I’ve learned after studying chart compatibilities for over 25 years–I never make snap judgments. People with the most awful synastry can have lengthy and healthy relationships, while those with beautiful synastry might not last a month. This is where human free will (and the deep psychological complexes one may or may not have worked through) come into play. You can find out the most about a relationship’s possibilities just by studying the natals of the individuals.

      Reply
  3. Laura says

    Aug 7, 2017 at 5:25 pm

    Dana, my husband and I both have a Cancer Moon. (Also, his Sun Sign is my Ascendant Pisces.) What does that mean?

    Reply
    • Dana Gerhardt says

      Aug 7, 2017 at 6:01 pm

      Think about it. Find the astrology in your experience. Both of you having a Cancer Moon could be utterly delightful (tender, supportive, nurturing, home-loving) — or a disaster if either of you is projecting the shadow of Cancer Moon (needy, secretive, attached, merged). The archetypes are the paints — we’re the painters. How are you and your husband painting with your Cancer moons?

      Reply
  4. Kate says

    Aug 7, 2017 at 2:33 pm

    Oh my goodness, thank you for helping me to understand what is happening in my relationship! He’s Virgo ascendant, Cancer moon, I’m Virgo on the cusp of the 7th, Scorp moon . I always criticize him for being unsupportive, judgemental, unwilling to be a partner, which can be true. It hurts him deeply (cancer moon) and I know that it makes him retreat. Now I realize that my judgement and need for a perfect partner (Virgo in 7th) without putting in my work in the relationship has been equally contributing to the problem. If only our moons could come forward, we’d have such a seductive, snuggly time!

    Reply
    • Dana Gerhardt says

      Aug 7, 2017 at 4:35 pm

      Full Moons are made for big realizations — wow — looks like you just had one!

      Reply
  5. Mooncoyote says

    Aug 6, 2017 at 8:50 am

    Both laughing and crying at this. I have a Virgo sun, and Virgo stellium; my partner of almost 10 years is a Virgo moon. Yes, we felt instantly like we knew each other, and we’re still going strong. But boy do we both know how to criticize each other, even when we don’t think we’re doing it! Ah well, at least over the years my Cancer moon has learned to hurt for a bit and then get over it.

    Reply
  6. Joey says

    Sep 13, 2016 at 2:28 pm

    Dana you are definitely popular,

    I remember your name out of all the ones I have read since I came to Moon Circles in 2000 or 2001 something like that.

    Reply
  7. Dawn says

    Feb 24, 2013 at 2:04 am

    That is so interesting Dana. I have a Virgo Moon for example. The men in my life seem to be attracted to my Capricorn Venus at first. When I act out on the Virgo Moon…they think I am too picky or want organize their life. When I act more passive from my Pisces IC and just let it all go, things improve. I am trying to develops the smart and sexy, and more sensual side of Virgo. It’s more fun than the strict mommy act…lol. Great post here though Dana and gives one much food for thought. My ex was a Virgo and we are still VERY at home together. I have never felt that comfortable around anyone. Not even my family of origin!

    Reply
    • Dana Gerhardt says

      Feb 24, 2013 at 9:18 am

      Relationships usually do start with Venus, then the Moon gets involved and much of the trouble begins! Our dependencies, our neediness… well, that’s the Moon. Working through the lunar issues, however, does eventually nurture the relationship quite a bit.

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

dana-astro-ebooks
Dana’s writing… brings the meaning of the planets to life like no other writer in this field. She’s the Meryl Streep of astrological writers: smart, sane, and insightful...”
Jeff Jawer, The Mountain Astrologer
dana-astro-ebooksLessons in Astrology as Magic
dana-astro-ebooksNaked Astrology
dana-astro-ebooks dana-astro-ebooks
Elements/Modes and Planetary Playbook
dana-astro-ebooksMoonWatching
dana-astro-ebooksIn Wonderland: The Houses of Your Chart
dana-astro-ebooksThe Living Planets
dana-astro-ebooksGoldilocks is an Aries

© 2000 - 2023 Mooncircles.com

Astrologers use a variety of house systems, or methods of dividing up the sky into twelve sections. I use the Porphyry house system; another popular house system is Placidus (this is the default on https://astro.com). If the chart I send you looks different from what you are used to seeing, then likely a system other than Porphyry was used. Whole signs, Equal House, Regiomantus, and Campanus are examples of other systems. If you find all of this confusing, do not worry. It is likely not critical to your report.

m  Conjunction:  Like peas in a pod, planets in conjunction tend to come from the same place. They act together, but it’s also hard to tell them apart. This aspect can increase talent, focus, and intensity (“two are better than one”). Or one planet can disappear as the other dominates. Their connection feels so natural, it’s easy to think everyone blends these planetary energies just as you do—but mostly, they don’t!.

p  Sextile:  Planets in sextile are compatible, though without any fireworks. This aspect doesn’t demand your attention. It quietly presents an opportunity. You can join these archetypal forces. Donna Cunningham has called this the “Oh, that!” aspect, because that’s generally what her clients say when she describes their benefits.  To get the most from sextiles you need to actively work them.

q  Square:  Squares are wild and wonderful—but difficult too. The power struggle between these planets was likely defined in your youth, when they were impossibly challenging. People are usually aware of their squares. They force the issues that make you to grow. And that’s their gift. They ensure you learn your lessons. When you rise to the occasion, they bless you with energy, action, and success.

r  Trine:  Michael Munkasey has dubbed this the “goddess aspect” because it’s so lovely. Identifying talents you may have perfected in a previous life, trines can bring you joy. There’s a nice flow of energy between planets in trine. They support and reinforce each another. But without any struggle, you might take them for granted—neither using nor developing their gifts. An unattended trine can sometimes trick you into negative behaviors.

t  Inconjunct/Quincunx:  Your quincunx planets are innately incompatible. Bringing them into harmonious expression requires constant adjustments. This can be stressful, also motivating. You’ve got to keep changing your process, opinions or attitude—which promotes highly creative solutions.

u  Opposition:  They say opposites attract—and planets in opposition are never far from each other, though they’re constantly bickering. You may be triggered into awareness of this aspect by other people who seem to resist or undermine you.  An opposition can make you feel uncertain, insecure, or discontent, until you can accept and see yourself in both energies. Typically people find it easier to identify with one side and project the other onto unsuspecting others in the outer world.

First House: Personality, physical body, beginnings. Includes the Ascendant and rules physical appearance, the image you project to others, your general outlook on life, how you start things; may describe your role in your family system, often guides your first impression of immediate environment.

Second House: Money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions, talents.

Third House: Communication, thoughts, language skills like writing and speaking, early schooling, siblings and neighbors, short trips, coming and going around town.

Fourth House: Your home, psychological foundations and roots, family, parents, domestic life, instinctive behavior, ancestry, your connection with the past, sense of security, domestic life, real estate. conditions at the end of life.

Fifth House: Children, creativity, romance; pleasure, entertainment, self-expression; all forms of “play”, speculation, gambling, and attitude towards taking risks; hobbies, attitude towards romance, lovers as opposed to partners, attitude towards having fun.

Sixth House: Work and job (as opposed to career), daily life, attitude towards service and coworkers, helpfulness, pets, attitude towards routine and organization, how you refine and perfect your skills.

Seventh House: Partnerships, one-to-one relationships, marriage, the first marriage, the “significant other”, business partnerships, competitors, open enemies, lawyers, mediators, counselors, contracts, negotiations, agreements. clients/the public.

Eighth House: Transformations and crisis, your ability to meet and rebound from crisis and change, sexuality; sex, death and rebirth, rituals and personal growth, your partner’s resources, addictions, psychology, other people’s money, taxes, divorce/alimony, inheritance.

Ninth House: Attitude toward expanding horizons, religious beliefs and personal philosophy, higher education, long-distance travel, morals, foreign languages and cultures, personal truths, publishing, commerce, advertising, your sense of adventure.

Tenth House: Career and profession, your contribution to society, social status, public reputation, material success, how you carve out a public identity for yourself; attitude toward authority figures, parents, caregivers, bosses, governments, attitude towards responsibility, desire for achievement.

Eleventh House: Friends, groups, organizations; hopes, wishes, aspirations, personal goals; your philanthropic attitude, concern for the collective, humanity; like tenth, can bring recognition and honors for fulfilling hopes and dreams.

Twelfth House: What’s hidden beneath the surface, karmic dustbin, limiting childhood/past-life messages, self-undoing, hidden enemies, hidden weaknesses, dreams, secret affairs, lost items, hospitals and prisons, hidden strengths, spiritual studies and soul growth.

A  Sun: Our vitality and magnetism; self-identity, ego.
Roles: The Self, the Hero, the Performer, the King.

B  Moon: Intuition, emotion, nurture.
Roles: The Mother, the High Priestess, the Child.

C  Mercury: Mind; physical dexterity and mental agility.
Roles: The Thinker, the Communicator, the Student, the Trickster, the Merchant, the Thief.

D  Venus: Our capacity for pleasure, receptivity, creativity, and social connection. Also indicates our relationships, self esteem, and financial abundance.
Roles: The Lover, the Seductress, the Artist.

E  Mars: Desire, initiative, anger.
Roles: The Protector, the Athlete, the Warrior.

F  Jupiter: Luck, opportunity, expansion, higher learning, religion.
Roles: The Scholar, the Gypsy, the Traveler, the Monk, the Professor.

G  Saturn: Hard work, commitment, focus, inadequacy, leadership, suffering, loss.
Roles: The Task Master, the Grim Reaper, the Wise Old Man, the Builder, the Cynic, the Boss.

H  Uranus: Change, breakthroughs, upsets, discoveries.
Roles: The Revolutionary, the Humanitarian, the Visionary, the Snob.

I  Neptune: Imagination, spirituality, idealism, addictions, deception, compassion.
Roles: The Artist, the Romantic, the Guru, the Addict, the Martyr, the Victim.

J  Pluto: Transformation, power, psychological dynamics, helplessness.
Roles: The Terrorist, the Detective, the Psychotherapist, the Dictator, shady people.

a  Aries: Pioneering, competitive, selfish, impatient, courageous, reckless, independent, dynamic, domineering, “Me first!”

b  Taurus: Patient, stable, lazy, dependable, practical, sensual, stubborn, artistic, possessive, greedy, gentle, loyal.

c  Gemini: Intelligent, curious, adaptable, quick-witted, restless, clever, scatterbrained, lacking follow-through.

d  Cancer: Nourishing, intuitive, protective, moody, sensitive, maternal, domestic, childish, cautious, creative.

e  Leo: Proud, dignified, vain, expressive, romantic, generous, childish, overbearing, self-assured, creative.

f  Virgo: Perfection-seeking, practical, methodical, petty, critical, studious, discriminating, cautious, never satisfied.

g  Libra: Charming, sociable, peace-loving, refined, diplomatic, artistic, indecisive, apathetic, easily deterred.

h  Scorpio: Passionate, secretive, penetrating, resourceful, suspicious, manipulative, jealous, sarcastic, intolerant, determined, aware.

i  Sagittarius: Freedom-loving, philosophical, optimistic, enthusiastic, careless, impatient, talkative, a know-it-all, broadminded, athletic, honest.

j  Capricorn: Serious, responsible, practical, hardworking, stubborn, brooding, inhibited, status-conscious, domineering, unforgiving.

k  Aquarius: Progressive, individualistic, unpredictable, cold, intellectual, artistic, eccentric, shy, impersonal, scientific.

l  Pisces: Compassionate, intuitive, ungrounded, romantic, impractical, self-sacrificing, seductive, musical, artistic.